Definitely not Riyadh...welcome to Cairo

Nope...not in Riyadh anymore. Veeds of Arabia has now turned into Veeds of D'Nial, located in Cairo, Egypt.

Those of you who have followed me from Phoenix to Riyadh in hopes of learning something about the process of getting a visa and entering the Magic Kingdom are free to drop out. Or, you can follow me over to the new blog at:

http://jveeds-cairo.blogspot.com/

I had a fascinating two years in Saudi Arabia and I hope that you were either entertained or informed by the blog.

Or both.

I ended up with visitors from 84 countries including 330 cities outside the US and 214 cities in the US -- figures which I suppose are of monumental non-interest to anyone except my mother and myself, and, frankly, what she mainly cares about is whether I'm getting enough vitamins.

But if you're a reader from one of those countries and you didn't stop by just because you saw the word 'Kardashian' in one of my tags (and who would stoop so low as to pander to readers using such an obviously sleazy tactic!), I'd be delighted to see your smiling IP address on my stats page.

Here's a little taste of what you'll find in the first post about the sights and sounds of un-Pyramided Cairo.

I really need to get out and see some of the famous local attractions.

See ya in the souk.

Jim

...

Rooftop shenanigans

Boys will be boys.

And what 9-year-old boys like to do when their parents aren't watching is climb up somewhere high and sneak a smoke.

Of course I'm just guessing about them being 9. It's a pretty good bet. Probably how old I was when I was doing the same thing.

Except I didn't have a nice, secure rooftop completely out of view of anyone (except an unseen 6th-floor neighbor) to play on.

So I'm just amusing myself on a lazy Riyadh Friday afternoon, avoiding work and admiring the view when I see the two youngsters perched on the roof of the small utility building which is situated in the middle of a rooftop filled with satellite dishes and laundry lines.

I can see the two lads lighting up, without a care I imagine, unaware of the political turmoil around the Gulf on this so-called Day of Rage.

What they don't see is a lady and (one presumes) daughter coming out to hang laundry below.


One of the boys must have heard something because he strolls over to the edge, looks down and jumps back, scurrying to tell his friend. Like a scene out of Rear Window, I realize I have a perfect view of an unfolding drama, an unseen seer. The mother and daughter have no idea the boys are up on the utility roof. They also don't know that I can see them doing their laundry...which would normally be of no interest, except I'm wondering how the boys are going to get down. For their part, the boys don't know that I can see them and that I can also see their mother and the daughter.

One of the boys creeps over to the edge a few times to check the ladies' progress, but hanging out the laundry seems to be a timeless operation this Friday afternoon. The boys settle down for another smoke.

I was tempted to call out or whistle to them, to let them know that I could tell them when the coast would be clear. I figured that would just freak them out, not to mention it could alert the mother.

I watch as the boys determine the women have left the scene and decide it's time to hightail it out of Dodge. But the ladder is very tall and the boys are very short. Plus, they don't know if the ladies are coming back. Something tells me the boys are not supposed to be up there, much less smoking. A few tentative tries on the ladder sees the first one down. The second guy follows.

Mission accomplished. My work is done.

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A Pedicure for your Head

Think of it as half haircut, half chiropractic visit and half pedicure.

And it's all waiting for you at your neighborhood Riyadh barbershop.

OK, so I never was very good at math but I believe the ladies will know what I mean about the pedicure aspect when I explain what goes on.

Some would argue that a trip to the barber is wasted on me, but I still need to get rid of the shaggy stuff on the sides and back from time to time unless I want to look like a B-list Hollywood director.

Thus it is that we settle into the barber chair and signal to the barber that we'd like a "#1" cut. Nowadays, whether you're in Riyadh or Phoenix, barbers know how close to the scalp to go by a series of numbers. A #1 is as close as you can get. For me, it will take about five minutes but most barbers drag it out to 10-12 minutes to make us both feel like they're doing something more than shaving my head.

Now, watching a master barber from the Subcontinent go to work on a regular hirsute Saudi customer -- often in the late evening after prayer -- can be an excrutiating exercise in patience. He can easily spend 10 or 15 minutes after the main haircut making such ultra-fine clipping movements and razor cuts on his customer that you'd think he was giving a performance at the Met.

But it's after the Pakistani or Indian barber gets done fussing with his electric razor, clippers and straight razor, that the show really begins.

He starts by lightly oiling up his hands and giving your scalp a thorough 360-degree massage. That can go on for a couple minutes.

Next he cups his hands together and starts thwacking your head from ear to ear. It actually feels quite good though it looks bizarre.

Next he makes you lean forward and gives your upper torso a good massage.

Then he lifts up each arm and cranks it backwards and around in a circle.

After that he grabs your head, yanks it to one side and cracks your neck. Both ways.

Then it's back to your backside for another minute of massage.

Finally, you get a light dusting of talcum powder, and voila, "Ready for my closeup Mr. DeMille."

I really wish I could show you pictures of the whole operation but you know what they say: "What goes on in the haalagh stays in the haalagh."

_______________________________________________

"Ready for my closeup Mr. Demille" - Norma Desmond to newsreel camera in Sunset Boulevard

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My Arabian adventure: first report

001
June 26, 2009

Getting the job teaching English in Riyadh was easy enough -- I'm qualified, have no specific ties here other than a mortgage, love to travel, have no particular religious prejudices and I already live in 110-degree heat.

Getting the visa completed is a nightmare though.

Here's where I stand at the moment:

1. Passport - renewed and ready to go (it was set to expire in June so I needed it anyway). Cost: about $25 (need to check this)

2. Travel arrangements - my flight is booked (though I won't get the actual ticket until the visa is approved. Cost: free

3. Police report - in progress. Just took a trip to the Phoenix municipal office, fingerprinting, a small fee and they'll mail it to me in about a week (the city even pays for postage, though their published requirements say to bring a stamped, self-addressed envelope). Cost: $28

4. Medical report - incredibly expensive! I'm currently figuring it will come to more than $800 with all the lab tests, including a couple that neither my doctor's office or the lab recognize. The actual physical part is pretty easy though.

5. Immunizations - I'm holding off a bit. Technically no immunizations are required by S.A., but the US recommends Hep and Tet. This is going to be another $300 if I just get the minimum shots.

6. University degree authentication - another paperwork nightmare. It's not enough to just send authorized transcripts from Gannon University (M.A.) and University of Dayton (B.A.). No, they need:

• my name and SS #
• name of employer
• name of "courier agent" (whatever that means)
• letter stating reason for requiring authorization
• copy of employment contract
• copy of passport
• certified copy of university degree (whatever that means)
• updated official transcript in a sealed envelope (how is that different from the "degree"?)
• name of university and telephone # of the registrar (wouldn't that be on the official transcript?)
• verification letter from the registrar's office including SS#, school ID and telephone # of contact person in registrar's office
• written consent to allow the Saudi Cultural Mission to verify the degrees

Other matters:

7. House - I'll need to start posting ads and spreading the word very soon to rent my house for a year. I've only told my plans to a very few people since a whole lot of things could happen to foil the adventure and I don't want to set up a lot of expectations and/or gnashing of teeth (or worse, choruses of hallelujahs).

8. Packing - nada

9. Laptop - acquired a new, working unit just for this. I figured it's a good investment anyway. Cost: $400

10. Skype - could be my smartest investment (free)...though I did shell out $20 for a microphone/headphone and $25 for a webcam (though it turns out my laptop comes equipped with webcam. Skype has already proved invaluable for getting in touch with my sister in Kentucky, my neice in Afghanistan, a friend living in Cairo, and my sponsor in Riyadh. Since the IPA e-mail system doesn't seem to work very well with AOL, we've used a bunch of workarounds like Skype and my Arizona State University e-mail to stay in touch. Cost: Skype is free, other items, about $50

Whew.