Veeds of Arabia

Definitely not Riyadh...welcome to Cairo

2011-09-30T01:00:00.016+03:00

Nope...not in Riyadh anymore. Veeds of Arabia has now turned into Veeds of D'Nial, located in Cairo, Egypt.

Those of you who have followed me from Phoenix to Riyadh in hopes of learning something about the process of getting a visa and entering the Magic Kingdom are free to drop out. Or, you can follow me over to the new blog at:

http://jveeds-cairo.blogspot.com/

I had a fascinating two years in Saudi Arabia and I hope that you were either entertained or informed by the blog.

Or both.

I ended up with visitors from 84 countries including 330 cities outside the US and 214 cities in the US -- figures which I suppose are of monumental non-interest to anyone except my mother and myself, and, frankly, what she mainly cares about is whether I'm getting enough vitamins.

But if you're a reader from one of those countries and you didn't stop by just because you saw the word 'Kardashian' in one of my tags (and who would stoop so low as to pander to readers using such an obviously sleazy tactic!), I'd be delighted to see your smiling IP address on my stats page.

Here's a little taste of what you'll find in the first post about the sights and sounds of un-Pyramided Cairo.

I really need to get out and see some of the famous local attractions.

See ya in the souk.

Jim

...

Something tells me we're not in Riyadh anymore

2011-07-25T19:29:00.022+03:00

Veeds of Arabia is currently on vacation in the US. I suppose this slide-o-rama will be of no interest to anyone interested in the Magic Kingdom, but at least you're getting a break from my usual whining, moaning and kvetching. These shots were taken in and around Erie, PA

Note the vacant look after a hard afternoon's work relaxing in the sun, inspecting the contents of my mom's refrigerator and supervising the hummingbirds.

Sometimes one needs to go incognito

Public dock, Erie, PA.

My mom got her cheekbones from me.

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A hot time in the old town

2011-07-04T08:10:00.000+03:00

...

Who says you can't

have a hot night

out in Riyadh?

...

Who are you...who who who who?

2011-06-29T12:46:00.002+03:00

I like to check my blog stats from time to time just to see where visitors are coming from and whether anyone is actually reading my hopeful drolleries.

Not to worry that I might trace you or stalk you...all that the stats tell me, location-wise, are the country and usually the city, but often neither.

Of course there are blogs that have literally hundreds of countries represented and reams of comments attached to each post. I'm lucky if I get one comment. [insert frownie face of your choice here].

But in the last week I started noticing an awful lot of activity and about 75% of it can be tracked to two cities: Bremen, Germany and Cambridge, Minnesota USA.

As Butch Cassidy says: "Who are these guys?"

As The Who say: "I really wanna know."

And as Homer Simpson says: "Doh."

It's true that I can identify some visitors by their city, if it's Erie PA, for example, I know it's a family member or high school buddy who's on my e-mail list. If it's Covington KY it's got to be my sister.

So you persons from Bremen and Cambridge...I'm very curious who you are. (I'm not complaining of course.)

You couldn't be the same reader unless you are a time traveler. Have you mined some particular nugget of interest and want to see what other shiny objects might have emerged ? Are you planning to visit Saudi Arabia? Are you enthralled with my dollops of Arabicana and need another hit? Do you want to go get some coffee sometime?

Don't be afraid. I'm just wondering what brings you to the Veeds of Arabia blog 5 or 6 times a day.

For anyone who wants to say hi, I can be reached directly via the e-mail address over at the left under "About the photos."

....

5 modest proposals for Saudi Arabia

2011-06-03T08:37:00.000+03:00

As a thought experiment, I’ve been toying with several ideas -- completely unsolicited by anyone of authority in the Kingdom, of course -- that could just possibly make life in Saudi Arabia better for everyone. And by “everyone” of course I mean “me.”

As I thought about this and asked colleagues, I decided on two basic ground rules:

a) changes or improvements could not violate any Islamic rules or principles, and

b) implementing them would not cost a fortune.

This eliminates all the questions about women driving, keeping stores open during prayer times, devising an efficient mass transit system, promoting tourism, making Saudi Arabian Airlines a less unpleasant experience or trying to get people to understand the concept of a queue.

So, whattya think?

1. Sidewalks. You literally cannot go more than 20 or 30 steps in most Riyadh neighborhoods without having to detour into the street. In fact, there’s no point even in using a sidewalk because the street is the real pedestrian path. This is true even on fancy streets like Olaya.

Here is a partial list of things a walker will find to obstruct his path: trees, dumpsters, open unmarked excavations, giant piles of dirt, parked cars, torn up concrete, more parked cars, building utility boxes, telecom company utility boxes and possibly some more parked cars.

So how about a program of building sidewalks, or requiring sidewalks, perhaps even on just one side of a street?

2. Building addresses. Try calling a cab to pick you up, inviting a friend over, giving directions or just having hot schwarmas delivered without a street address. Fire or police emergency? Forget it. Moreover, businesses shipping you goods hate delivering to a P.O. box.

So how about a program of putting addresses on buildings (and telling residents what they are while we’re at it)? I’m guessing there are, technically, addresses for most or all buildings that are known only in the most super-secret interior lock boxes of the Ministry of Addresses. I even heard mine one time. You might as well put an address on a schwarma for all the good it does.

3. Street names. While we’re dealing with streets, maybe we could simplify or at least coordinate the spelling of street names. Typically one just says to a driver “Go to Malaz Siteen and turn right at the McDonalds” or “Pepsi Road near the Tamimi.” That’s because no one wants to deal with tongue twisters like “Al Amir Muhammad Ibn Abdulaziz Rd.” or “Al Amir Muhammad Ibn Abdulaziz St.” or “Al Amir Abdulaziz Ibn Musa Id Ibn Jalawi St.” or “Al Amir Turki Ibn Abdulaziz Rd.” or “Al Amir Sa’ad Ibn Abdulaziz” or “Al Imam Abdulaziz Ibn Muhammad Ibn Saud.” (all spellings taken from the standard Farsi map.) And then there’s the Good Ship Lollipop which simply lists itself as being on Prince Mohammad Bin Abdul Aziz St. (Thalia St).” Or the Turkish restaurant at “Olaya-Prince Sultan St. Old 30.” (These were taken verbatim from actual business cards.)

4. Normalize spelling of Saudi names. Students ask why I try to get them to spell their names the same way all the time. I want them to come to a consistent transliteration based on how the tribe wants the name to sound (though I don’t explain it that way). Within the KSA it probably doesn’t matter (except to teachers who are trying to figure out if the Al Qatani on the exam is the same as the alqetani or the al-Ketaani on the attendance roster.

The reason I give is that anyone traveling outside the Kingdom will have a much easier time of things if he or she doesn’t have to explain why their name doesn’t match whatever list or form the airport guy, the college admissions officer, the bank officer or the police officer is using.

Several years ago, Cecil Taylor of The Straight Dope column came up with 12 ways to spell Qadhafi. The official U.S. Library of Congress rundown gives 32 different spellings.

The basic problem of course is that there is no generally accepted authority for Westernizing Arabic names, mostly because Arabic contains several sounds that have no equivalent in English. And many exquisite subtleties of Arabic pronunciation are mooshed together into a single character when the name gets romanized.

But perhaps the tribes could at least talk amongst themselves and decide if they want to be Al Anazi, Al Enazi, Al Anzi Aal Anazi or Al Anazy.

Among the things that I include under “normalization” (that is, creating a consistent “norm” for names) would be what to do with the “al” – should it be Al Ghamdi, Al-Ghamdi, alghamdi or al-Ghamdi?

It all makes a difference in how names get alphabetized, which like it or not, helps society keep things in order and find you when you are lost.

5. Littering fines. This may be a losing battle but wouldn’t it be nice to walk down a street or visit a beautiful desert landmark without seeing a mountain of empty water bottles, used tissues, juice containers, tea bags, blue bags, half-eaten schwarmas, cigarette butts, empty cigarette packs, Barbican bottles, dead butane lighters, tin cans, torn up bits of paper and…of course, the ubiquitous 10 SR STC phone card?

Naturally, it does no good to simply put up a sign saying “No littering.” You might as well put up a sign saying “No ants!” at your next desert kabsa BBQ.

No, an anti-littering ordinance would have to have serious consquences, much like the photo radar cameras that have struck fear into the hearts of red-light runners and speeders…well some of them anyway.

So there we have ‘em. Five fairly reasonable ideas that won’t cause major disruptions in the social fabric but could just make your life (and by “your” I mean “my”) a little more civilized.

Got your own ideas? Remember the two conditions.

The Ministry of Pretty Good Ideas awaits your input.

I won't say I'm getting desperate...

2011-05-12T02:02:00.000+03:00

...

...but some days a fella will kiss anything.

Saudi Arabia bans "chirpers"

2011-04-01T10:01:00.000+03:00

VOA NEWSWIRE - Riyadh, April 1, 2011 -- As part of his program to move forward with progressive reforms in the kingdom, and some pundits say, consolidate his base of support, Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Abdullah today announced that all car alarm “chirpers”—the high-pitched screeching devices that sound off whenever a vehicle is jostled or a heavy truck rumbles by—are hereby outlawed.

Click here to listen to a typical chirper.

The new law goes into effect immediately though enforcement will not begin for another two weeks to give owners time to disable the devices.

A 150 SAR fine will be levied for every violation and offenders will receive notification at their next ATM transaction, just like any traffic fine.

“These things are un-Islamic, useless and just plain annoying, annoying jedn,” (very annoying) a spokesman for the King said. We’re pretty sure no one in the 7th century had one for his camels and we certainly don’t need them now.”

Imams throughout the kingdom applauded the ruling.

“People don’t mind getting up for the dawn Fajr prayer, but they don’t need the annoyance of these devices going off at all hours, disturbing their sleep and disrupting domestic tranquility just because car washers are trying to make a few riyals at 5am,” said Al Rajhi Mosque imam Abdullah Abdulrahman ibn Abdulmajid ibn Abdulkareem. “The harsh chirping or squeaking noises can be heard for blocks away and the resulting lack of sleep causes the faithful to lose concentration during prayers.”

It is expected that chirping remote keyless entry devices will be added to the ban shortly.

“What? They’re not content to just have flashing lights! They have to hear where their SUV is too?” added a highly placed interior ministry official who spoke on condition of anonymity.

"It's really a quality of life issue" said a leading political observer in Riyadh who spoke on condition of anonymity. "The 135 SR billion ($36 billion US) in social benefits just announced were a bit abstract for the average Saudi to fully get on board with. This new law hits home where it counts...in the bedroom."

According to the New York City Police Department, car alarms are actually making the crime problem worse because false alarms are so common that people simply ignore them. And the director of the criminology center at the University of Pennsylvania, Lawrence Sherman, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said, "No study has demonstrated that they reduce auto theft."

"Get your chirping out of your system now," warned an unidentified highly placed official in the Ministry of SUVs, "because it'll be kalaboush for offenders by the next new moon."

Rooftop shenanigans

2011-03-12T22:33:00.000+03:00

Boys will be boys.

And what 9-year-old boys like to do when their parents aren't watching is climb up somewhere high and sneak a smoke.

Of course I'm just guessing about them being 9. It's a pretty good bet. Probably how old I was when I was doing the same thing.

Except I didn't have a nice, secure rooftop completely out of view of anyone (except an unseen 6th-floor neighbor) to play on.

So I'm just amusing myself on a lazy Riyadh Friday afternoon, avoiding work and admiring the view when I see the two youngsters perched on the roof of the small utility building which is situated in the middle of a rooftop filled with satellite dishes and laundry lines.

I can see the two lads lighting up, without a care I imagine, unaware of the political turmoil around the Gulf on this so-called Day of Rage.

What they don't see is a lady and (one presumes) daughter coming out to hang laundry below.

One of the boys must have heard something because he strolls over to the edge, looks down and jumps back, scurrying to tell his friend. Like a scene out of Rear Window, I realize I have a perfect view of an unfolding drama, an unseen seer. The mother and daughter have no idea the boys are up on the utility roof. They also don't know that I can see them doing their laundry...which would normally be of no interest, except I'm wondering how the boys are going to get down. For their part, the boys don't know that I can see them and that I can also see their mother and the daughter.

One of the boys creeps over to the edge a few times to check the ladies' progress, but hanging out the laundry seems to be a timeless operation this Friday afternoon. The boys settle down for another smoke.

I was tempted to call out or whistle to them, to let them know that I could tell them when the coast would be clear. I figured that would just freak them out, not to mention it could alert the mother.

I watch as the boys determine the women have left the scene and decide it's time to hightail it out of Dodge. But the ladder is very tall and the boys are very short. Plus, they don't know if the ladies are coming back. Something tells me the boys are not supposed to be up there, much less smoking. A few tentative tries on the ladder sees the first one down. The second guy follows.

Mission accomplished. My work is done.

1234

A perfect waste of time and dirt

2011-01-06T13:09:00.000+03:00

Admittedly, picking up and counting every pre-paid phone card on a 1-km walk to work could be considered a complete waste of time by many folks. I prefer to call it an exercise in anthropological observation.

Either way, I have found something that even my dear mother would consider a monumentally pointless activity. (And she is someone who patiently watched me engaging in numerous monumentally pointless and dangerous activities as a child.)

What I'm doing is moving red dirt from a next-door construction site to a series of small but useless "planters" in front of my own apartment building.

Here's what one of the planters looks like in its current state:

(I call this a "planter" because at one time the building owners constructed about 20 of these square concrete structures and planted mini-palm trees. Naturally they didn't consider how the plants would be watered so all but 3 or 4 of them have died.)

There are three pretty good reasons my enterprise is pointless:

1) Saudi Arabia is vast, inherently dusty, sandy and windblown desert environment...and that's just the cities! (insert comedic rim shot) And there's 2.3 million sq. kilometers of sand and ground up rock on the Arabian peninsula trying to get in.

2) There appears to be very little if any regulation for construction sites so that it's common to see large piles of uncovered dirt, rubble, worker refuse and construction materials that blow up and down the street.

3) Pedestrians in this multi-ethnic neighborhood regard the street and sidewalk simply as places to deposit whatever cigarette butts, tissues, glass bottles, juice boxes, gum wrappers--and phone cards of course--that they happen to find in their hand at the moment and have no more use for.

So this Thursday morning while I was doing my laundry, which is just a few steps from the streetfront, I got the idea to go outside and fool around with the planters for a half hour with pretty red dirt from the construction site next door.

All three planters now have about 2 inches of red dirt and whatever objets d'art I could find lying around as a centerpiece. Thus we have a nice flat rock, a cylindrical block of something or other that reminded me of a ka'ba sticking out of the dirt, and a 6-inch piece of plastic tubing (pic #3) embedded in the dirt with rocks and a stick.

How long will these three planters remain butt- and soda-can free?

I'm guessing a day or two.

I'm also guessing the next door neighbors won't notice that some of their dirt is missing.

________________________________________

Update, Feb. 1: the planters are no longer daily repositories of cigarette butts, tissues and empty water bottles, but people do occasionally drop items in there. Just when I think progress is being made, some noodnink drops a soda can in one of them.345

It's all in the cards

2010-12-16T13:25:00.000+03:00

I've been conducting a little experimental observation the past week.

It started with simple curiousity about all the pre-paid phone cards one sees lying around on the ground but it's really about the larger issue of littering in KSA. I got the idea from reading Susie of Arabia's article about the clean up effort on the corniche in Jeddah. As I opined at the time to Susie, I heartily endorsed the idea but felt confident that anything they cleaned up would be back in duplicate the next week.

So here's what I did:

For the admittedly arbitrary period of 4 days, I stopped and picked up every single pre-paid plastic phone card on the ground in my path between my apartment and my workplace, a distance of about one km. I stopped after 4 days because I had gone over the slightly varying routes 8 times (round trip) and found that the average number of cards was decreasing only slightly. I figured the first couple days I was picking up cards from several previous weeks but by the third day it was mostly new cards.

My hypotheses going in were (1) that the assortment of cards would reflect the market shares of the three local providers: STC, Mobily and Zain, in that order, (2) that the value of the cards would be evenly distributed among 10s, 20s, 30s and so on. [Note: 10 SR=$2.67 US]

I was also simply curious about how many cards there really were. I asked a few colleagues who hazarded guesses of 7-10 cards per day.

The actual average was 41.75, with slightly higher numbers on the first and second days.

Here's what my collection looked like after 3 days:

The sharp-eyed among you will note that my initial two hypotheses were gloriously disconfirmed.

While STC dominates the market for phone cards in the Malaz district, Zain clearly trumps Mobily, which is actually the market's second-in-command for overall telecoms market share.

Why is that? Well, as a colleague mentioned, it seems that Mobily has better deals for post-paid service, leaving STC and Zain as the price-leaders for pre-paid service. I can't vouch for that but it's certainly suggested by the numbers:

STC: 68%
Zain: 20%
Mobily: 12%

I was also wrong about the distribution of phone card values which were completely dominated by the 10 and 20SR cards:

SR 10: 77%
SR 20: 17%
SR30: 2%
SR 50: 3%
SR 60: 0.5%
SR 100: 0.5%

Essentially 10 and 20 SR cards comprised 87% of the pre-paid cards left on the ground.

It's important to remember that these figures represent cards carelessly or deliberately left on the ground, not the total number of cards purchased, some of which are undoubtedly dropped in the trash. So it may well be that the numbers tell us more about how the mixture of the army of foreign blue-collar or subsistence workers and middle-class native Saudis dispose of trash than the population as a whole.

In other words, this doesn't say anything about what percentage of cards are put in trash versus dropped, or what the true distribution of card values is.

Be that as it may, it's clear that residents and passers-by in Malaz buy the cheapest cards available and, from what I can personally observe, think no more about dropping a card once it's been scratched than they think about a fly once it's shooed from their arm. Once a card has been scratched and used, it is no longer in the customer's attention span and seems to simply fall from his hand like so much lint.

In fact, I asked one gent, with as much politeness as I could muster, why he dropped his card instead of throwing it in the trash. He replied quite matter of factly, "That's how we do it here."

I asked another guy whom I found buying a 10SR card at the bakalla (mini mart) why he bought that value instead of something higher. He said, "It's how I control my phone calls. If I got more, I'd just use more."

It's a bit tricky to calculate how many minutes one gets from a given phone card given that different providers have different rates and SMS charges are different from voice calls, not to mention the variety of services like prayer time notifications, but I'd venture to say that a 10SR card (worth, as noted, about $2.70 US) yields about 18-20 minutes of telephoning or 40 text messages.

Of course many of the dropped cards can be found in the immediate vicinity of the bakallas but a surprising number are found up and down the neighborhood streets. The reason for this, as I observed, is that a customer buys a card and then walks down the street scratching to get the code and re-charging his phone and then drops it when he's done, which may be a block and a half away.

As I was discussing this with a colleague, he ventured a further opinion about phone usage in the kingdom. According to his theory, Indians are the big texters, Pakistanis won't text but will call, and Bangladeshis use a sort of missed-call system to convey information like "on my way home," thus avoiding call charges. I can't vouch for any of this; just tellin' what I hear. Americans simply lose their phones a lot. And of course Saudi students usually have two phones -- one that the family knows about and one for...other uses.

Ecologically, however, I'd say the cards are a disaster, considering the amount of plastic involved for a useful life of 20 seconds, not including the resources needed to create the cards and truck them to the points of sale. And don't forget the plastic sheaths each card is wrapped in. Once the number has been scratched, the card becomes useful as...nothing.

One thing that some vendors do is provide a register receipt with the re-charge number instead of a plastic card. I'm sure the customers drop the register paper just as freely as the plastic, but the paper is a bit more biodegradeable.

_______________________________________________

Here's a typical Zain card

At least the folks at Mobily give you a collectors' motive for not tossing out the cards.

And finally: a glimpse of the rare 100 SR (about $27 US) STC card!

1234

Camels are for hugging, not smoking

2010-12-13T14:00:00.000+03:00

123

The ears have it

2010-10-10T22:08:00.000+03:00

Abdulaziz?
Here teacher.
Abdulkareem?
Present!
Abdullah?
Here sir.
Abdulraheem?
Good afternoon Mister V.

As I continued to read the afternoon roll of Saudi students, through the various Abduls, Alis and Mohammeds, the noise level in the classroom of 30 variously interested English language learners continued to rise.

Having read the roster list thrice already that day for my other classes, I could feel my voice starting to get scratchy and a little hoarse as I raised my volume to reach over the din. And we hadn't even gotten into the annoying business of gerunds and past continuous tense.

Then it occurred to me. They're teaching me. And what they were teaching is that their attendance meant more to me than to them.

Which is patently untrue.

Whether a particular Khalid or Majed was in class that particular period really made no substantive difference to me. It was just a check mark (present) or a zero (absent) and a possible argument later in the week when they'd come to my office to ask for help (student code for "Please don't mark me absent"). They wouldn't win the argument.

The fact is, an absence means a lot more to Hussam than to me. Once he goes over the rather generous allowance of absences he is afforded in order to keep earning his stipend, it's all over for him.

So why was I shouting to be heard over the pre-gerund clamor?

I tried a little experiment. I started lowering my voice...

Ayman?
Here, Mister V.
Emad?
Present.
Ibrahim?
Right here teacher.

I lowered it further...

Mishal?
Present!
Nawaaf?
Here.

By the end of the alphabet I was practically whispering. No kidding. My voice was low enough that I could barely hear myself!

Without a noise meter I couldn't say whether the ambient noise had gone down. If so, I don't think it was by much. But some of these 21- and 22-year-olds were sitting in the very back row of the room and they could hear me just as well as if the room had one of those acoustic domes where you can hear someone whisper from 30 meters.

It was eerie. A face--Muadh, Nasser, Omar--would pop up from behind a screen of students saying "Here Mister V!"

From this I draw two conclusions:

1) Never underestimate the ability of young-eared Saudis to hear at a distance.
2) People hear what they need to hear.

It's nice to get a lesson from the students.

If only we have ears to hear it.

-----

Top 1 U.S. travel tip

2010-09-10T03:31:00.001+03:00

1. Don't check luggage.
...

Top 20 Middle East travel tips

2010-08-04T07:54:00.000+03:00

Having trekked from Riyadh to Amman, Jordan to Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt to Beirut to Istanbul and thence to London, Chicago and Phoenix in the past few months, there are few things I've learned that you may find helpful.

Of course these are nothing compared to significant world travelers like my sister or niece so I've cadged a few items from them.

1. Most people planning a vacation like to book a direct flight to their destination. But I found that by accepting a hefty layover in a desirable city, you can actually double your adventure. In fact, if you plan it right and are careful not to miss your flights, it's almost like the airline is saying "How'd you like a free trip to Beirut as long as you're heading toward Istanbul?" The trick is to give yourself at least 6 or 7 hours, quiz some locals about the distance and typical cab fares into the city, get a transit visa (if necessary) and then simply let your spirit take you where it will. Caution: a lot of airports won't have storage lockers so you may have to haul your carry ons with you.

2. Beirut is a wonderful trilingual, cosmopolitan city full of history and abounding in outdoor cafes, some with watermelon hubbly-bubblies.
Imagine a place where you can find a Roman ruin, a Christian church and a mosque literally side by side. (photo below)

3. The most expensive instant coffee in the universe is in the Beirut airport near Gates 1-8. Avoid that cafe. Get your coffee before you head to the gates.

4. Obviously traveling light is the desideratum, but remember that carry ons don't have a weight limit, just a size limit (the size of the overhead bin). So if you're also checking bags, feel free to load up your heaviest items in your carry ons. If you can manage to heft it onboard you may be able to avoid overweight charges on your checked bag. On the other hand, if you're doing the layover adventure thing, it's best not to load up your carry ons because they'll get mighty heavy the longer you're out and about.

5. Airport Internet access is about as reliable as, well, airline departures, so don't count on it. Interestingly, you can sometimes find hidden WiFi hotspots by wandering around, if you're really desperate for an e-mail fix.

6. Pack the charging devices for your key electronics along with one or two multipurpose outlet adaptors in your carry on, not in your checked bag.

7. If you're ever in Amman, I highly recommend the museum on the big hill at the Temple of Hercules.

The museum covers the entire gamut of civilizations that have occupied the region from the stone age to the present and has some very nice original specimens of the actual Dead Sea Scrolls.

8. Always check on the typical cab fare to your destination. In some cases, fares are regulated but in most Middle East locales, the rate is highly negotiable and the locals will definitely take advantage of you, possibly charging twice as much as the going rate. For example, in Riyadh, the fare from King Khalid Airport to the Radisson or Al Yamama Hotel should be about 70 riyals, but the freelance drivers will insist that it should be 125 or even 150 riyals.

How to check? Make some instant friends in the duty-free store, tourist info booth or coffee shop and sort of average out their estimates.

9. Make your best estimate about how much money you'll need to exchange at the airport into local currency and then make sure you have plenty of small bills. You're going to need this when you negotiate with your cabbie. One method that works pretty well: Having determined what seems to be a fair average price for a ride to your destination, say, 20,000 Lebanese pounds, get that exact denomination and put it separately into one of your pockets...with nothing else in the pocket. When the freelance cabbies start approaching you, reach into your pocket and dramatically flourish your 20,000 pound note and say "downtown, 20,000." As with any haggling situation, you have to be prepared to walk away briskly. Holding out the note and suggesting that this is the only currency you have helps to sell the proposition. Make sure you have another note of the same denomination for your ride back where the flourish is even more effective. A lot of arguments can be avoided by having the exact change. If you've negotiated a $20 ride and all you have is a $50 you've put yourself in a weak bargaining position.

10. Count the metallic junk in your pockets and then remember that magic number for when you're going through metal detectors at airports. Example: belt, pen with metal clip, money clip, USB device , cell phone = 5. When you go to collect your junk, don't leave until you've counted 5 items.

11. When you pack your carry ons, try to pack consistently so that you're always keeping the same stuff in the same pockets or compartments.

12. For longer trips with few plane changes, unless you're an actual fashion model, wear your heaviest clothing, including your heaviest shoes onto the airplane to avoid having to pack them in your checked luggage and possibly face a hefty overweight charge. There's no charge for simply being heavy as long as you don't take up an extra seat. Budget-conscious students manage to wear multiple outfits including numerous heavy sweaters and would probably wear multiple shoes if they could figure out how to do that.

13. As obvious as this sounds, check your plane tickets, passport and visa a week before you're ready to leave. Put them somewhere so insultingly obvious that you won't forget them on departure day. Tape a note to your front door that says: tickets...passport...visa. A friend of mine attending a trade show in Las Vegas booked her hotel a month in advance, had her customer meetings all lined up and hotel reservation confirmed and then realized the night before that she forgot to book the actual flight. Another friend tells of planning a wonderful dream vacation to Italy with her pilot boyfriend only to find -- at the check in counter -- that he didn't have a passport.

14. Traveling with a favorite companion can be a wonderful experience but the best adventures happen when you go solo. Also the most boring. Also the most exciting.

15. Sometimes planning well ahead isn't always the best strategy . . . as long as you don't wait till the day before. During the Iceland volcano catastrophe this spring, travelers who had booked their trips months or weeks ahead found themselves either completely unable to leave for European destinations or stranded en route. In the meantime, a few people who had arranged trips just a few days prior had the benefit of the most recent information and easily traveled to non-volcano destinations. However, once you have determined your destination and dates, don't delay actually booking your flight and hotel since rates during holiday periods can double in just a few hours.

16. If you ever find yourself here . . . . . . Alexandria International Airport (ALY) -- run away, run away. The ambiance resembles what I imagine Cold War-era Berlin must have been like on the dumpy side of town. There is not an electrical outlet of any kind to be found (though I sweet-talked the coffee concessionaire into letting me plug my cell phone under the counter) and obviously no Internet. The restrooms have no paper products of any kind...and no hand dryer either.

17. Most Middle East cities have a form of cheap shuttle bus service -- sort of a hop on/hop off deal where you simply flag down the mini-bus and yell "stop" when you want to get off. This is a great form of transportation but you need to be very careful about not getting ripped off for the fare, depending on where you are. Sometimes the fare schedule is posted on the bus (e.g., Istanbul). Other places (Egypt) you just have to know the going rate, which varies according to who you ask. Still others have a fixed rate, but it's not posted...again, you just have to ask someone. In Riyadh, the shuttle is dirt cheap (2 riyals, about 50 cents US), but it's a dirt cheap, ramshackle ride where every turn is an adventure in weight and balance.

In Egypt, you really need to ask some trustworthy locals because the driver and his cronies will simply cite whatever fare they think you'll pay.

Typically, you get on the shuttle and sometime during the course of your ride you simply pass your fare up to the driver. If change is called for, he passes it back through the intervening passengers. This is always done on the fly since the essence of the shared-fare taxis or mini-buses is speed and efficiency.

18. As clever as it seems to wear flip flops or easy slip on/off shoes to the airport, it's usually better to wear your most comfortable shoes and socks (again, assuming you're not a supermodel) because it's more important to be able to walk long distances than to worry about the extra 10-15 seconds tying your shoelaces. By the way, I carry a very small plastic shoehorn in the outer pouch of my carry on.

19. Since all luggage seems to be either black, gray, gray/green or black/gray, some folks like to tie colorful ribbons to the handles for quicker identification at the luggage carousel. But those ribbons or yarn can get caught in the revolving contraptions so it's better to use colorful tape.

20. Never pass up a chance to use a restroom.

Hitting 60

2010-08-04T07:09:00.000+03:00

I'm pleased to say that the Veeds of Arabia blog has just notched its 60th country: Jordan.

In the larger scheme of things, it really doesn't matter how many different countries the blog is being accessed from. In fact, I suspect that a lot of visitors simply landed here by accident looking for something else.

I do try to keep my keywords and tags fairly accurate and specific so as not to mislead readers who may be keen to learn THE SECRET OF THE UNIVERSE, for example, or HOW TO CURE DIABETES, or WHO WILL WIN THE BASEBALL WORLD SERIES, or even the BIG SECRET THE KARDASHIAN SISTERS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW.

Obviously you won't find any of that here. (Well maybe the stuff about the Kardashians...as soon as I figure out what they're famous for.)

However, I am a little surprised at how long it took to hit the magic siteen. Countries were piling up like cars during a Phoenix rush hour for a while and then...no new national flags for about a month.

In case anyone's wondering, the blog is now at its summer headquarters in the aforementioned Arizona sun where the owner is busy sipping adult beverages, playing tennis and watching cable TV.

But that doesn't mean we don't have our thinking shemagh on.

And right now I think I'll have another beverage.

Next time: some things I learned while traveling.
...

Mobily strikes again!

2010-06-20T11:55:00.000+03:00

It's bad enough to get spam in your e-mail, so why is my telecoms provider sending me a steaming load of promotional spams on my mobile phone?

I've complained about Mobily before, specifically lack of any credible customer service. but this is a new low in customer relations: spamming your own customers!

Consider what they either sent or let through:

1. Mobily: message in Arabic announcing a promotion for getting extra minutes.

2. MOWE: promotional message in Arabic directing me to the website of the Ministry of Water and Electricity.

3. Mobily: another message in Arabic. (I get these a lot from Mobily.)

4. BodyMASTERS: message in Arabic -- how did they even get my mobile number?

5. Mobily: "Now win 20 kilos of gold by using Mobily roaming services."

6. Kilana: message in Arabic. One of my Saudi colleagues thinks this is a charity promotion but I think it's a message from the humanoid Vorta commander from Star Trek.

7. kke.com.sa: message in Arabic directing me to an Arabic website seemingly sponsored by the King Khalid Foundation.

8. 3351: "Message cannot be displayed." (I get these all the time.)

9. GDP: message in Arabic about protecting my passport

Is there no refuge from telemarketers and spammers?

You could say, "Mr. Man in the Sand, what do you care if you occasionally get an irrelevant message on your mobile phone? It doesn't cost you anything to receive an SMS. Why not just delete and move on?"

But see, I get a private, if small, jolt of delight when someone texts me because I think I'm getting a personal message from a friend with some SMS drollery or other important breaking news. Instead, I eagerly open the message only to find "Message cannot be displayed" or "Win 20 kilos of gold." (I believe I'll leave the gold and silver speculation to the notorious "G" -- a loud, oafish man who believes that the local souq merchants are fools who don't know the value of their goods.)

It's a bit like going to the mail box and finding a package only to discover that someone has sent you some dead batteries or a wad of cat fur.

SMS to Mobily...
Veeds of Arabia: cut it out please.

Why Saudi Arabia will never produce any NBA stars

2010-06-10T21:06:00.000+03:00

It's a shame the bank can't supply a wastebasket for the ATM receipts.

Al Rajhi Bank ATM lobby, Pepsi Rd., Riyadh, 9:30am

Headline, courtesy of Anonymous reader...so much better than the original.
---

A Pedicure for your Head

2010-05-25T08:50:00.000+03:00

Think of it as half haircut, half chiropractic visit and half pedicure.

And it's all waiting for you at your neighborhood Riyadh barbershop.

OK, so I never was very good at math but I believe the ladies will know what I mean about the pedicure aspect when I explain what goes on.

Some would argue that a trip to the barber is wasted on me, but I still need to get rid of the shaggy stuff on the sides and back from time to time unless I want to look like a B-list Hollywood director.

Thus it is that we settle into the barber chair and signal to the barber that we'd like a "#1" cut. Nowadays, whether you're in Riyadh or Phoenix, barbers know how close to the scalp to go by a series of numbers. A #1 is as close as you can get. For me, it will take about five minutes but most barbers drag it out to 10-12 minutes to make us both feel like they're doing something more than shaving my head.

Now, watching a master barber from the Subcontinent go to work on a regular hirsute Saudi customer -- often in the late evening after prayer -- can be an excrutiating exercise in patience. He can easily spend 10 or 15 minutes after the main haircut making such ultra-fine clipping movements and razor cuts on his customer that you'd think he was giving a performance at the Met.

But it's after the Pakistani or Indian barber gets done fussing with his electric razor, clippers and straight razor, that the show really begins.

He starts by lightly oiling up his hands and giving your scalp a thorough 360-degree massage. That can go on for a couple minutes.

Next he cups his hands together and starts thwacking your head from ear to ear. It actually feels quite good though it looks bizarre.

Next he makes you lean forward and gives your upper torso a good massage.

Then he lifts up each arm and cranks it backwards and around in a circle.

After that he grabs your head, yanks it to one side and cracks your neck. Both ways.

Then it's back to your backside for another minute of massage.

Finally, you get a light dusting of talcum powder, and voila, "Ready for my closeup Mr. DeMille."

I really wish I could show you pictures of the whole operation but you know what they say: "What goes on in the haalagh stays in the haalagh."

_______________________________________________

"Ready for my closeup Mr. Demille" - Norma Desmond to newsreel camera in Sunset Boulevard

___

Annals of Bad Service: Mobily

2010-05-13T00:41:00.001+03:00

As much as people (including me) complain about customer service in the Western world, service is a dream compared to the number one offender in the Kingdom of Saudia Arabia.

I refer, of course, to telecommunications provider Mobily (pronounced moBUYlee).

I should make it clear that I have no beef with their actual phone service; it's not like I get a lot of dropped calls or fading signals. It's the customer non-service I'm talking about. Well, that and a few other things...but mainly the non-service.

Specifically: 1100, the Number of the Beast in telecoms.

That's the alleged number you call to get any kind of customer non-service, short of trudging off to visit one of their offices. (Of course that's a frustration in itself because you may get to a Mobily office, take a number, wait for your turn to come up--assuming no one has jumped in front of you--and then find out the particular office doesn't offer the service you need or need to have fixed. Even something as simple as renewing your USB modem gigabytes can be your undoing if you go to the wrong office.)

I should mention that there is no other number provided in any Mobily literature anywhere except the 1100 number. And if you wait 45 minutes to see a Mobily rep at one of the offices and complain about having to drive all the way there, they'll just cheerfully refer you to 1100.

In short, the 1100 is about as useful as a flyswatter on a bowling ball.

First off, no one ever answers. Ever. Even after you've gone through their maddening phone menu. OK, so perhaps after 50 or 100 tries you do get a live person. The connection will either be immediately terminated or you'll find yourself with someone who speaks English with such a heavy accent that you need to have him repeat what he says 5, 10 or even 15 times for everything he says.

But enough yakking, let's try out the 1100 number right now:

[ring ring]
"Welcome to our new Mobily customer service menu. For Mobily services, press 1. For Broadband at Home press 2."

[Press 1]
At this point, instead of getting the option you requested, a recorded commercial starts: "Internet roaming..." (annoying commercial plays for about 16 seconds) "...to subscribe to this service, press 3. To go back to the Main Menu, please press 'star.'

[Press *]
"For information about the balance and recharging, press 1
"For settings, 3G services and internet packages, press 2
"To activate and deactivate Mobily services, press 3
"For (nacawfee?) program, press 4
"For reporting the harassment complaint, press 5
"To change the language, press 6
"To listen to the services list again, press hash"

[Press 2]
A new menu option list now starts up, the last of which, hidden after the "listen to the list again" item, is:

"To contact a Mobily customer care representative, press zero"

[Press 0]
"Dear Customer, you can now evaluate the quality of service provided by our customer service representative immediately after this call. Dear Customer, to ensure service quality, this call will be recorded." (Mobily is big on prefacing all their statements with "Dear Customer.")

Of course there is no evaluation because you will never get a live person to evaluate.

At this point the system often simply hangs up on you, so you call back a dozen times until you finally do get through to an actual live person (who, remember, you will have to ask to repeat everything he says at least 5-10 times to understand him). Alternatively, a live person may answer, who promptly gets drowned out by the previous recorded announcement...and the call is dropped. So you call a dozen more times until a heavily accented person comes on the line. This whole Abbott & Costello routine can go on a dozen times.

Now, is it just my imagination that Mobily customer service is renowned throughout the Kingdom for being slovenly and poorly engineered?

I've asked several of my student classes and every time I mention Mobily they all wake from their gerund-learning-induced stupors and start laughing and shouting about how much they despise the 1100 number.

I did find out while I was visiting the Mobily booth at an electronics exhibition recently (from a guy who probably shouldn't have told me this): Mobily has a 5-tiered system for responding to calls on 1100. It starts with their VIP customers, works down to "post-paid" phone customers and finally dead ends at the "pre-paid" customer level. That's me. I buy pre-paid cards worth 60 riyals every month or so. You'd think these would be among their most valued customers.

Back to the job at hand. In case you're wondering, I've now been on music-hold for more than 90 minutes -- about the time it took to write this blog, get some coffee, check some other e-mails and read a few chapters of a book. I'm just feeling ornery enough to plug my phone into its charger and see how many hours it will take for someone to answer.

UPDATE: I left the phone on the charger and let it just sit playing on-hold music and I racked up about 6 hours, including 3 or 4 callbacks...without a single live person interrupting.

In the meantime, I have suggestion for Mobily: Why not just change the number to 666 and get on with the business of ignoring customers without the subterfuge of a help line?

Labelous language

2010-05-08T13:38:00.000+03:00

Idioms are one of the trickiest things to translate from one language to another, especially when the two languages don't even have the same alphabets or sound systems.

I don't know who the marketing genius at Nestle is, but the company somehow has managed to dominate the instant coffee market in the Kingdom, so much so that Nescafe has almost become the generic term for coffee. One of the coolest things they've done from a promotional perspective is to tie in their "Red Cup" brand with red collector coffee mugs, each with a clever coffee-oriented saying. You get the cup as part a nice package when you buy the jar.

Now, "No can do" is a sort of hipster American phrase and apparently the closest Arabic can render it is"Forget it"(انس). Not too bad really. I've consulted with several native Arabic speakers and there's always quite a bit of heated discussion as to what the imperative mode for the verb "forget" might be. One person even suggested that the idea of commanding someone to forget is a metaphysical impossibility. There's even discussion as to whether the Nescafe cup lettering might not be quite right so I've changed it above to the consensus spelling, pronounced eensah.

Next up, a foul little item that appeared at my doorway in a bag along with a nice doorhanger.

Foul medammes or (ful medammas), as everyone knows, consists of mashed brown fava beans which my trusty Wikipedia says derives from the Egyptian language. Ful is Egyptian for fava and medammas is a Coptic word meaning "buried." The Wiki article suggests that it has been described as "like a stone in the stomach." I'll stick to my corn flakes and strawberries, thank you.

Submitted for your consideration: the classic A1 steak sauce bottle.

What I love about this bottle is that they could very well have simply left it as is with the usual information about contents and serving size and the need to occasionally shake the bottle. But someone at A1 decided to perk up my day in a wholly gratuitous and wonderfully whimsical manner.

Did it cost them a penny more to write something whimsical that perhaps conveys a bit of spice, foretelling the contents to be enjoyed therein?

As I used to tell my advertising clients: a good idea doesn't really cost any more than a bad idea.

Finally, a logo that needs no introduction to sports fans.

To the untrained eye it simply looks like Gatorade as seen in a mirror. But to a crack Arabicist like me (more crack than Arabicist some might say), there's an interesting little dilemma: Should you say "zhay-toor-eed," thus mimicking the long "a" of the English brand name, or "zhah-toor-eed" using the standard Arabic pronunciation. Note that Saudi Arabic doesn't have the hard "g" sound so the first letter is a pronounced like a soft "g" or [zh].

After much consultation among my Arabic experts, the feeling seemed to be that either way will do -- "same same" is the phrase used -- but the zhah pronunciation might be best: zhah-toor-eed.

I was about to put a feather in my cap and call it macaroni after this revelation when a colleague who was casually checking out the bottle during my hallway conversation pointed out that the Arabic translation of "fruit punch" was "fruit mix," using the Arabic word conventionally used for "problem" -- thus it becomes "fruit problem."

Makes me wonder what Hawaiian Punch uses for their translation.

A good day to wear my polo shirt

2010-04-10T08:21:00.000+03:00

Although 9:30 a.m. on a Friday (like Sunday to the Western world) is a bit early for most Riyadhites (Riyadhians?) to be up and at 'em, I reckoned that an amateur coed polo match is too good an idea to pass up just for the sake of a few extra Z's.

The match was to be held on the spare driving range of the Riyadh Golf Club just north of town and I managed to hitch a ride with a friend in exchange for navigating.

Along the way we were treated to a camel brigade and my friend was gracious enough to allow me to jump out to capture the moment.

It's a pretty good deal. For a mere 100 riyals (about $27 US) you get admission to the polo match, a lovely clubhouse brunch, complimentary Red Bull drinks courtesy of one of the sponsors and professional DJ music between chukkers.

We were advised to bring our own folding chairs -- though one couple actually carted out matching wicker chairs -- and sun shielding devices but about half of us enjoyed the match from the comfort of the covered tee boxes.

Overall rating: Rahther!

(all photos by the author except shot of yours truly...hint: not the person with a parasol)

123

Snow time like the present

2010-03-24T18:22:00.001+03:00

For a school kid growing up in the snowbelt of the USA, there's just no day as beautiful as a snow day--at least before the days of universal Internet access allowed teachers to send in work via e-mail.

First, you got a day off from school without the unpleasant side effects of being ill, pretending to be ill or just missing the school bus.

Next, the fact that the weather is too dire to keep you from traveling to school doesn't mean you can't go out and play in the snow. Or stay in and watch TV. Or read.

Plus you got an extra day to continue to neglect the homework you neglected the previous night.

It's basically a free day that simply falls from the sky.

So how come Riyadh kids don't get the day off for a Dust Day?

Sandstorm images were taken March 19, 2010 in Al Malaz district of Riyadh.
Top set -- looking north; bottom set -- looking west toward King Abdulaziz Rd.
All photos by the author.

Caption, My Caption

2010-03-16T17:32:00.000+03:00

Saudi students at the “prep” (beginner) level learning English as a foreign language were asked to write a caption for a picture as part of their first quiz of the session.

We had spent a fair amount of time during a recent class writing captions for a series of story pictures from the textbook, such as “Francisco plays baseball”…“Maria listens to music”…“The Garcia family lives in an apartment” and so on. I could have selected one of those pictures to test whether they could remember what a caption is and write a complete sentence about it. But my Saudi students often just memorize answers from their text. And, if they don’t remember the correct answer they’ll simply write down anything they do remember, even if it’s a totally different picture. So I wanted a picture that they almost certainly would not have seen, one with ambiguous circumstances, but with enough identifiable language elements—men, papers, table, room—to give them something to go on.

I also reckoned that the messy papers on the floor would give me a chance to reinforce the idea of the process of revision and editing from the previous unit.

I would have accepted captions such as “Three men in a room are looking at papers.” In truth, I was ready to accept just about any sort of description that was remotely readable. And as expected, the range of answers followed a bell curve from “it is captain” to “three old men, one standing, two sitting.”

However, there were three extraordinarily perceptive responses.

Here’s the quiz item:

Q3 Write a caption for the following picture (3 pts)

_________________________________

_________________________________

_________________________________

And here are the top three answers, verbatim. Family names have been removed for privacy. I left the original spelling errors intact as a reminder that these are beginning English learners.

“There are three took [talk] about community thing. They try to solve or find the answer for community problem.”
(Ali, Group H)

COMMENT: Not only is this right, it’s exactly right. The picture of three founding fathers of what was to become the United States meeting to draft the Declaration of Independence is in essence a community problem-solving meeting.

“Three people planing [planning] to makes a war. The leader is reading a message.”
(Ahmed, Group F)

COMMENT: I have no idea how the student came up with “war” from this ambiguous historical image but one could say that the logical conclusion of drafting the Declaration of Independence is a call to war.

“Three men trying to write some kind of a law or doing a research. And they look like they are lived before 100 years ago.”(Mishaari, Group F)

COMMENT: Again, spot on. During class discussion, most of the students said that the men were British or French. Technically, “British” would be correct but as I pointed out, this image shows the very point in time at which these Brits were becoming Americans.

I’m not sure if it was a bit of moistness in my eyes and catch in my voice or simply a desire on students’ part to get on with the more exciting business of subject pronouns and gerunds but they were strangely silent as I described this moment of transformation in history.

________________________

Other responses that I think are interesting in their own right:

“They are looking for an old papier.” [paper]
(Abdullah, Group G)

“3 people I think old. They are write something. I think they are prences.” [princes]
(Hussain, Group H)

“Ali read the paper. Ahmed listen to Ali. The room isn’t clean.”
(Mohammed, Group H)

“They look befor[e] hundreds year. I think they’re writing letters for money and take a letter and read it. I think they help who can’t read or write a letter, but not free. It’s a job.”
(Saud, H)

I certainly don't mean to make fun of beginning students of English--I'd certainly hate to have my own meager Arabic scribblings exposed to the public eye. Rather, I wish to honor the difficult and rewarding process of writing, reading, revising...and declaring.

_______________
Image: Benjamin Franklin reading a draft of the Declaration of Independence. John Adams is seated and Thomas Jefferson is standing, holding feather pen and paper.
Original painting by J.L.G. Ferris. Source: Library of Congress
123

Welcome to Ebaya.com

2010-02-11T14:53:00.000+03:00

I hear that women in Saudi Arabia are planning a boycott—or perhaps it should be “mancott”—of stores that continue to employ only male lingerie salespersons. The two-week mancott is scheduled to start February 13, though I don’t see why it shouldn’t last a month to give it some teeth.

The irony of the situation, for the benefit of those outside the KSA, is that unrelated men and women are not only not allowed to socialize but women must cover head-to-foot whenever an unrelated male is present. As my friend Susie of Arabia points out in her daily photo blog from Jeddah, a law was passed in the kingdom a couple years ago allowing women to sell lingerie to other women. Yet most stores still employ only male salesmen, even for ladies’ intimates.

(photo courtesy of Susie of Arabia, used with permission)

This got us to thinking: If women start taking over the women’s clothing departments, where will the male crossdressers go for their couture needs?

Fortunately, the information superhighway once again comes to the rescue in the form of my new online shopping experience for male crossdressers:

Ebaya.com

Yes, this is the place for guys to manage all their abaya needs and other unmentionables.

No more sending the little woman out for a size XXL-long black abaya… “and hold the embroidery please.” No more superduper-sized lacy drawers hanging out on the balcony clothesline.

Now you can shop for what you need by yourself or with your buds in the comfort of your own majlis.

With the days of being able to just stroll into a store with the assurance that you’ll have a sympathetic male sales clerk to deal with about to become herstory, men can shop with the assurance that no cooties will have come in contact with your little black dress.

And for the ladies who like to crossdress, watch for the grand opening of a new online store just for you…

(Except as noted, all photos and logo or logo parody treatments are the author's)

What a difference a voiceless alveolar plosive makes

2010-01-28T22:36:00.000+03:00

I was walking home with a couple buddies after our late Sunday classes. It was 9:45pm and we were just passing the petrol station and the laundry when a young man in a wrinkled thobe (robe) but no shemagh (linen head dress) stepped up alongside us, shook hands enthusiastically and started into a friendly, well…over-friendly conversational jabber in basic beginner English.

One of the guys I was with is usually pretty chatty with strangers, or else the interloper, in his mid-20s, knew him from the laundry, so I just listened in for a moment as we walked. The conversation seemed to consist mostly of one word, “smile” or “smiling,” repeated over and over, back and forth between the two guys. After a couple minutes of this nauseating exchange I could hear my buddy indicating to the guy, without breaking stride, that we needed to be on our way and kept saying “so long” and “have a nice night.”

The guy wouldn’t stop bugging us though so I stepped in with my new Arabic word of the day, which I had just learned from the students. I was warned that it was rather harsh and should only be used when you really need to get rid of someone. It’s considered quite rude, the equivalent of “Get the H out of here you annoying person.”

After a few minutes of watching the intruding guy dog our heels I figured this would be a good time to try it out.

So I turned to the shadow guy and said what might be phonetically rendered as [dose].

I had been practicing during the day with students so I thought I had it down pretty fair.

The guy still wouldn’t leave us, even after we sped up and waved our hands goodbye. I was busy calling to him “dose dose dose!”

The next day I reported my attempts to students who laughed and quickly informed me that the Arabic word I really wanted had more of a ‘t’ sound and no vowel. It should have been (again, more or less phonetically): [tose] with barely a hint of the ‘o’; more like a hissed [ts].

I learned that what I actually said to the shadowy figure was what you might say to a driver moving too slowly when you want him to step on the gas—in effect, “go faster.”

Linguistically, it’s only just the difference between a voiceless “t” and a voiced “d” really.

Culturally, it’s the difference between a shadowy sidekick and an unencumbered walk down Al Farazdaq Street.

[Note: At the risk of getting all word-wonky on you, the linguistic terms "voiced" and "unvoiced" simply mean the vocal cords are vibrating or not, respectively -- touch your throat to feel the difference. "Alveolar" means that the tip of the tongue is touching or near the inner ridge of the gums of the upper front teeth. And "plosive" just means that a burst of air is expelled. You can feel it by holding a piece of paper in front of your mouth.]

A Paucity of Post Its

2010-01-12T21:37:00.002+03:00

Is it just my imagination or are Post It notes something of a rarity here?

Fact is, trying to find a yellow sticky anywhere around my place of business is like trying to find a dumpster without a crew of cats.

It's hard to believe an office can function without a half-dozen sizes of Post Its but for some reason the Saudis just don't use them much. You can find them in a stationery store, but they're not stocked in my employer's supply cabinet. Those who want them usually load up at the Jarir Bookstore.

What they do have is pencils. The Saudis are crazy about pencils and each of our offices is equipped with a snazzy electric pencil sharpener. Furthermore, each newcomer finds a few pencils as part of his deskset.

For a while I thought it was just the students -- who are almost exclusively pencil users. But even the administrators keep a pencil handy at their desks. You'd be hard-pressed to find a student with a pen, by the way. Or a laptop.

They do all have mobile phones though, which, I suspect in a couple years will put laptops out of business among younger people.

My latest purchase, for myself, is a white board--also not considered a necessity, in this part of the kingdom anyway.

I'd write some more about office supplies but I've got to get busy cutting up my large Post Its into little squares.

Breaking News: Riyadh Woman Caught Driving

2009-12-23T17:32:00.000+03:00

Who says you don't get hot news scoops from The Veeds of Arabia blog?

VOA News
Dec. 23, 2009, Riyadh, KSA — A woman was stopped for driving a car here yesterday, according to a reliable eyewitness who viewed the incident outside the Ministry of the Interior on King Fahd Road.

According to our exclusive source the incident occurred on December 22. The woman, estimated to be approximately 35 and wearing Western-style clothing without an abaya, was apprehended while driving a green car.

The witness, a Saudi veterinarian driving behind, speculated that the woman is most likely a newcomer, possibly working at either the nearby King Faisal Specialized Hospital or a neighboring dental clinic. The Intercontinental Hotel is also nearby. It is believed that the woman was cautioned and let go without further punishment.

-30-

A trip to the mini-mart

2009-12-04T15:06:00.000+03:00

The great thing about the mini-marts -- or what I call a mini-mart; they fancy themselves "Super Markets" -- in the ethnic Malaz district of central Riyadh is that they're situated about every block or so. Locally known as a bakkala, the mini mart is essentially just a step up from a souq (which you may spell as you please).

Now, don't be looking for no fancy cheeses, chunky chicken & vegetable soup, fresh strawberries or gourmet coffee.

But if you're in need of milk, OJ, a cold Barbican apple beverage, ice cream, electrical outlet adaptor, crackers, one of three kinds of cereal or household cleaning products, this is the place to go.

Don't need a full dozen eggs? Just pick 'em out yourself and load up an egg tray with what you need.

No need to bother with your ATM card either. These are strictly cash and carry Mom & Pop operations. Well, Pop anyway.

And while the clerk is ringing up your purchase, don't be surprised if another customer simply comes up, places his stuff on what passes for a counter and forks over some riyals. Line queueing is not a highly practiced custom in the kingdom.

(I would like to take this moment to thank the proprietor of this shop for kindly allowing me to take pictures inside and out.)

The first thing you notice, of course, is the cramped quarters with one-person-at-a-time aisles -- and sometimes apparently no-person-at-a-time -- and goods stacked up to the ceiling.

But here, let me shut up for a minute while you browse...

One of the fun things about shopping at the mini-mart is when you come to the end of an aisle and see that there's barely room to make the turn.

Yes, that is a right turn you see below.

Unlike an American convenience store, the mini-marts here are relatively inexpensive. But, like a Circle K or 7-11, they're easy-in/easy-out.

I'm not quite sure how the clerk keeps track of what the various customers have brought, since the counter is clogged with every imaginable gimcrack and gewgaw, rendering it literally invisible.

So picture our genial host below with, say, three customers all piling their goods up on the several-layers-deep counter area and trying to make change for them all.

This is aided a bit by the fact that there are, practically speaking, no coins to deal with in Saudi Arabia. It's all paper money in 1, 5, 10, 50 and 100 riyal denominations*. (One riyal = about US $0.27) If by some inadvertent stroke of chance you happen to get a product priced in a fraction of a riyal, the clerk is likely to simply hand you a pack of gum as your change. But this is a rare occurrence in any store since products are invariably priced in whole denominations. And since there is no sales tax, what you see on the price tag is what you pay.

I refused the gum one day and the owner reluctantly dug into his cash drawer and proffered a couple quarter-riyal coins ("halalahs"**). I really just wanted to see if there even is such a thing.

Not all mini-marts offer exactly the same goods. At some you can get light bulbs, others offer mobile phone re-charging cards (mobile phone service is generally pre-paid on an as-needed basis) and still others have household knicknacks.

And, like every other store in the kingdom, they're closed for prayer times so it's a good idea to check your mobile phone prayer time scheduler before you head out for a milk run.

--------------

*Technically there are also 20-riyal notes, but I've never seen one.

Update: I have since come into possesion of a few. Unfortunately, they leave my pocket almost as soon as they enter.

** One halalah is a hundredth of a riyal. Gas...er "petrol" runs about 60 halalahs/liter (including full-service pumping), which I reckon works out to about 60 cents/gal -- but then, I've never been known for my math.

Originally published 12/24/09; updated 1/22/10 with various notes.

Don’t try this at home

2009-11-06T15:07:00.000+03:00

I’m not saying this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

On the other hand, it’s certainly not up there with remembering the principal products of Brazil in 4th grade or deciding not to see if my dad’s Lincoln Continental could do 120 mph on a Pennsylvania country road.

Picture the scene.

I’m walking down a side street from my apartment in an ethnic neighborhood in central Riyadh heading to a small laundry run by a Bangladeshi. It’s about 4pm on a Wednesday afternoon. I’m holding three sizeable bags of laundry ranging from bedsheets to shirts, so picture the bags pretty full and formless.

About a block and half away I see an SUV fishtailing out of a parking spot, or maybe another side street, and heading in my direction.

Now, I’m not sure I can explain why the next thing happened. Let’s just say that having been here approximately two months now, I’m feeling like I have certain rights to walk safely down the street like any other resident. Let’s also say I was in a cranky mood and hadn’t had my afternoon nap.

What I do is I step out in the middle of the street and start waving my laundry bags in the air…at the approaching SUV driver.

In truth, unlike certain governments who don’t like to see major industries fail, I cannot say I had a bail out plan. All I know is that I’m waving these three white plastic bags and yelling down the street some kind of gibberish like “Hey, what are you doing driving like that, you madman!” I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a question so I’m not going to bother putting the correct punctuation there.

I see the black SUV coming toward me, but he’s stopped fishtailing and the next thing I know is…he’s come to a stop, about three-quarters of a block away.In my mind’s eye of memory, I believe I saw the vehicle as though it were out of some Ferdinand the Bull episode, with the SUV sort of paused, snorting, preparing to disembowel me and leave bedclothes and button-down shirts scattered amongst the stray cats and poorly parked cars.

I am now replaying that memory as a reality check to see if what happened next really happened. I’m pretty sure of it.

What happened was that the driver executed a neat right-hand turn, slowing down as he did so, smiled and…flashed me the Hawaiian “hang loose” gesture.

I could see that it was a 20-something Saudi in Western-style dress—that’s how close I was.

I flashed him a hang-loose in return and off he went.

I guess the laundry is mightier than the sword.
...

Wipers up!

2009-10-30T15:58:00.000+03:00

As I meander up the various side streets of Riyadh each day from the Fortress of Solitude where I live to the Institute where I teach, I’ve been noticing an awful lot of cars with their windshield wipers up, or rather, one wiper blade up.

Then suddenly, it came to me.

In a place like Riyadh, which is essentially a city of 5+ million people in the middle of a bunch of sand, car washing is second only to feet washing (OK...and making U-turns).

Consequently, there’s a sort of cottage industry of entrepreneurial car washers. A bunch of them hang out behind the Obeid Specialty Hospital but you can find them all through the neighborhoods.

I guess this won’t be much of a breaking news story to locals, but apparently the car washers lift the wiper blade up to signal to the owner that the car has been tended to.

Wiper up, car clean.
...

How about just saying "Hi"?

2009-10-25T21:55:00.001+03:00

Allow me to step aside for a moment from the usual hard-hitting, ripped-from-the-headlines sort of concise and insightful reports you've come to expect from Veeds of Arabia -- oh, wait, that was a completely different place -- and extend an invitation to the variety of anonymous readers who regularly visit this site.

I know a teensy bit about you from the site-meter. For example, I know you're from Finland and The Netherlands and the U.S. and Canada and France and Germany and Saudi Arabia and Australia and a host of other far flung nations. But that's about it.

I'd love to at least know who you are. Why not say "hi"?

If you'd just as soon not broadcast yourself to the teeming millions, feel free to jot a note to me privately at: jveeds@aol.com.

Your secret identity is safe with me.

Regards,

Veeds of Arabia
Your man in the sand

Why Riyadh pedestrians need rearview mirrors

2009-10-23T16:18:00.001+03:00

Why drive on the street when you can take the sidewalk?

1) Driver of SUV, having politely honked me out of the way, proceeds up the sidewalk to the intersection.

2) Driver pulls off the sidewalk, neatly bypassing a long line of traffic on King Abdul Aziz Rd.

3) Driver snags a parking spot at the corner, just barely clearing the intersection itself (but behind the crosswalk, which in Riyadh is mostly theoretical anyway)

Nice work...and it's only 7:15 a.m.

...

A long way to Tipperary...and Riyadh

2009-10-21T23:36:00.000+03:00

I saw an ad on the Saudi Expat message board, illustrating the age-old copywriter’s maxim: “Spend 80 percent of your time on the headline, 20 percent on the copy.”

While this works better for ads than Internet message boards, a lot of time and trouble could have been saved if the writer would have spent a little more time thinking about his headline.

It goes:

WEEKEND SALE — LAST DAY-GOING-AWAY SALE! THROWAWAY PRICES

The particular item that caught my eye was a printer/scanner/copier combo for a mere 100 riyals (about $26).

I called the number listed and the guy and I agreed that since I don’t have a car, he would meet me somewhere and we’d go to my place to fire up the system before purchase. He had all the cables and discs.

At the risk of revealing the Veeds Of Arabia super-secret Fortress of Solitude, I can say that it’s near several prominent city landmarks — to wit, Al Yamama Hotel, the King Abdul Aziz University Hospital and the Radisson Hotel. Cabbies all around town know at least one of these so I figured this guy would too.

We arranged to meet the next day at the Al Yamama. He would use his GPS to locate the hotel.

Now, I’m wary of GPS navigators but I’ve used them before and sometimes they work just fine. But sometimes all it takes is a wrong left turn to throw you off. Sometimes it’s simply a question of GIGO — Garbage In/Garbage Out.

We connect by cell phone as planned Sunday. He says it should take him about 30 minutes, but he’ll call when he’s near the hotel rendezvous.

The Al Yamama Hotel, once the jewel of Riyadh, has faded in its glory, but it still has excellent tennis courts, a big pool and some vestige of tainted elegance in its lobby. Most of all, it’s a well-known landmark in this part of the city and it’s a 7-minute walk from my apartment. I get a call from the guy — we’ll call him “Ramesh” — an hour later and he says he should be there in about 10 minutes. I hurry out the door and arrive 7 minutes later. No Ramesh.

The circumstances become a little cloudy in my head at this later point in time because there were numerous calls back and forth, using up my precious mobile phone minutes but, after all, Ramesh is going to the trouble of driving so I’m figuring it’s a fair trade-off.

Despite, or perhaps because of his GPS, he keeps getting lost. Finally, 40 minutes and a hotel lobby catnap later, there’s a final call: he’s now hopelessly lost and can we regroup tomorrow when he’s had a chance to study a map and check the three landmarks?

We can.

I’m savoring the addition of a scanner to my electronic arsenal at the Fortress and if I’ve learned anything in the Kingdom, it’s that nothing goes right the first time.

Monday comes bringing Ramesh’s call about 4 pm. He thinks he’s got it solved. I hand the phone over to a colleague who’s lived here for 10 years and knows the city well. He gives very clear directions and guidelines. He reports to me afterwards that it doesn’t sound like Ramesh knows where he is coming from.

Ramesh is now on his way to the Radisson Hotel, well-known as the former Hyatt and also as the headquarters for General Schwarzkopf during the Gulf War. I head over.

Ramesh’s next update comes 20 minutes later. Yes! He’s pulling in now and would I come outside so he can verify that he’s at the right place? We don’t see each other and our descriptions of the building don’t match. He concludes that his GPS has led him to the wrong Radisson. Grrrr. He will recalibrate and go the correct one.

Back inside to the lush lobby I think: Why not ask the reception desk for help?

The clerk confirms that the hotel is indeed on King Abdul Aziz Road, known as the Old Airport Road, etc. etc. I ask where the other Radisson is. He says, “There is no other Radisson, sir.”
Ramesh calls back and says he’s confused about the Radissons and why his GPS isn’t directing him correctly.

I estimate that counting yesterday’s driving and today’s he has now wandered aimlessly up and down various highways with a printer/scanner for which he will receive about $26 for about four hours work. The cost to me is mobile phone minutes and some time spent catnapping in hotel lobbies.

Our final conversation goes like this:

Him: “Ok, I must have gone to the wrong Radisson. I’ll have to recalculate my position and get to the other one.”
Me: “I just talked to the hotel clerk. He says there is only one Radisson in Riyadh.”
Him (pausing): “Riyadh?”
Me: “Yes, only one Radisson in Riyadh.”
Him: “I’m in Jeddah.”

See? It pays to pay attention to your headline.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: Riyadh and Jeddah are 525 miles apart, approximately the distance between Phoenix, Ariz. and Salt Lake City, Utah. It's a long long way to Tipperary too, I wonder if they have any scanners?

Photos by author.

Pinned down at McDonald’s on the Muslim equivalent of Friday night

2009-10-03T16:14:00.000+03:00

First off, as many of you no doubt know, Wednesday night in Saudi Arabia is the start of the weekend for Muslims, so my hiking buddy and I weren’t too worried about staying out and, in fact, were up for whatever fun a couple American guys on a tight budget in a fundamentalist country can have. The plan was to treat ourselves to McDonald’s and then hit a popular bookstore on what is known as “Pepsi Street” where women are known to gad about without head coverings.

We had also received text messages from a couple compatriots who had an expedition planned for one of Riyadh’s landmark sites, so we were figuring out how to plan our trip for an optimal mix of walking and cab rides.

Except…we hadn’t checked our cell phones for the evening prayer time.

Fortunately we had made it into McD’s in time, but halfway through our Filet o’ Fishes and fries, the manager came over and very politely indicated that it would be a wonderful thing if we would move to a particular dark corner not easily visible from outside…”in case the police see us.” It was actually quite a pleasant alcove, and with the store lights outside turned off and the lights inside dimmed, one might even say it was preferable to the ordinary fast food ambience. The only problem was we were locked in for the duration of the prayer.

For those not familiar with this custom, all shops must close during the five prayer periods each day. The morning prayer, Fajr — currently at 4:28am — is not a problem since you’re not usually out and about then. The evening prayer, Ishaa, for this date was pegged at 7:12pm.

For most small stores, also public buildings like the museums or the Masmak fort site, the owners simply shoo everyone out and re-open about 20 minutes later. Very large markets like the big supermarkets — Carrefour, Best Buy, Tamimi, the malls, etc. — just close down the registers, but allow people to continue going through the store.

Restaurants have a special problem: their customers are consuming the product in the facility. You can’t really shoo someone out in the middle of a meal. Yet if you stopped serving everyone long enough before the prayer call to allow them to finish before the loudspeakers start blaring, you’d have to turn people away 30-40 minutes before the call and then be closed an additional 20 minutes during the prayers. So at McDonald’s we were simply asked to move out of sight of the window overlooking the busy Siteen Street.

And this is how we found ourselves sequestered for 15 minutes in a lovely little low-light McDonald’s while cars lined up for the drive-through and tardy patrons waited outside.

Hmmm...I wonder why these people aren't at prayer?
...

Fort-itude

2009-09-25T13:38:00.000+03:00

I organized a group of guys to go on a museum expedition to the Masmak (Qasr al-Masmak قصر المصمك).

The fort was originally constructed in what is now central Riyadh about 1865 under the reign of Mohammed ibn Abdullah ibn Rasheed who had taken control of the city from the rival Saud clan. The young Amir Abd al-Aziz ibn Abd al-Rahman ibn Faisal Al Saud (the name rolls trippingly off the tongue…if your tongue is Arabic), who had been living in exile in Kuwait, led a force to capture the Masmak fortress from its Rashid garrison in January 1902. The event, which restored Al Saud control over Riyadh, is now legendary as the symbol for the unification of the Arabs and the founding of Saudi Arabia.

The taking of the fort is pretty well documented in photographs and reminds me a bit, oddly enough, of Tombstone, Arizona — a documented, historic event that has accumulated a thick patina of myth and reconstruction along with the core facts. The fort offers a short and fascinating video chronicling the events, filmed to give a mock black & white documentary look.

The fort itself has been reconstructed numerous times. At first several of us thought we might be seeing original materials since the various reconstructions used what looks like actual baked clay and mud brick construction methods, but it soon became clear that the current building has been carefully reconstructed.

The surrounding area is very hospitable and consists of a large courtyard, leading to other public spaces. When our small troupe arrived there were elaborate preparations underway for celebrating National Day, Sept. 23.

The courtyard area is a popular spot for locals who visit the cafe or simply hang out.

I tried to cue the flag for some dramatic waving-in-the-wind action but had to be content with a nice crescent moon.

Rooftop Telecoms Outpost

2009-09-25T13:12:00.000+03:00

Since the semi-reliable Internet connections in our building have now become fully defunct, the Veeds Of Arabia website has temporarily moved its headquarters to the 7th floor rooftop venue, sometimes known as the Camp Swampy Internet Cafe.

Needless to say, the exact coordinates of the building are super-secret, but here's a look at our current setup.As long as we're up here with our camera, we thought you might like to see a nice view of Riyadh by night. This is looking northwest toward the Kingdom Tower, about 11:30pm

Not bad for a camera braced on a high building ledge for long-exposure, eh?
(2.5-second exposure, F:5)

No fat cats In Riyadh

2009-09-21T12:08:00.001+03:00

...but they seem to be doing OK for themselves. They favor car roofs and hoods by night, sometimes lined up five-in-a-row, giving a sort of The Birds look to a street scene. Never the beggars, they dine at dumpsters—where the shops never close.

I haven't seen any clipped ears (the sign that a stray has been neutered and re-released). But, frankly, I'm not inclined to get that close.
...

A visit to the American Embassy (yawn)

2009-09-19T15:11:00.000+03:00

I took a little jaunt over to the American Embassy the other day.

And when I say “jaunt” I mean a 20-minute cab ride (25 riyals) to the Diplomatic Quarter (DQ) and a 10-minute search for the actual embassy.

Getting to the DQ is easy. Finding the actual Embassy sees us meandering around lush country club-like circular drives lined with palm trees and little directional signage. Outside the DQ is hardcore desert.

I’m not too concerned about the time because we negotiated a flat rate with our cabbie and he’s burning his own petrol now.

The cabbie eventually spots it in the distance and proceeds to the guard station. He gets out and opens the trunk, advises the guard that we’re two Americans and is allowed to proceed. We then weave back and forth through a winding course of about 10 concrete barriers over a quarter-mile, passing small tent ramadas with mounted anti-artillery guns and numerous sandbag fortifications until we stop, about 300 yards away from the building in front of what looks like an empty parking lot. But it’s really just an open buffer zone that was probably a parking lot at one time. We get out and hike through the space and find the walkway to the entrance.

I don’t like to use the “T” word, but here’s just a personal observation. I’d think that true well-bankrolled terrorists would have no problem finding the Embassy so all the barriers and fortifications are just keeping out the amateur banditos and crazy Timothy McVeighs driving trucks. It seems silly, at least from my naïve point of view, not to at least have an address listed on the website. Like I say, it’s not like anyone who wants to find you bad enough couldn’t locate the place. But why pretend you’ve got an unlisted address?

Update: I've since learned that many, perhaps most of the locations in Riyadh simply use a PO box. Some public institutions, such as museums just give a street name. Needless to say, it takes a bit of navigating to find anything

Of course, all the best compounds have the concrete barriers and other security devices and warnings so I'd expect the Embassy itself to be, as Andy Taylor would say, "extry good."

Anyway, we arrive at the entrance guard post, having seen no discernible Americans yet, where we go through a typical airport x-ray-and-search drill.

(Side note: The Embassy website makes it absolutely clear that you are not to bring cell phones, PDAs, cameras and the like up to the Embassy. The website is very specific: leave ‘em in the car. But Eric brought his and simply checked it at the guard station with no fuss a’tall.)

As foretold, all the employees seem to be Saudis or other Gulf folk. I could be wrong…maybe they’re naturalized citizens. In any event, we can see the façade of the Embassy itself past a nice outdoor fountain and are led into a doorway that goes down a nondescript hallway. We didn’t really have a plan when we set out, though Eric figured he’d take the opportunity to register. I had registered the day before online. When they asked whether we had an appointment or who we needed to see we just kinda shrugged and said we had some questions and wanted to register. We were directed to the “consular section.”

Here’s the American Embassy in a nutshell:

It’s like a cross between a visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles and a small branch bank.

We were led to a small waiting room with about 50 cafeteria-style chairs. There were three windows at one end, numbered in English and Arabic: 1, 2 and 3. Each window was like a bank window with a big piece of glass and a scooped out tray where materials could be passed back and forth. The employee behind the glass has a microphone and you speak to him through the glass. When we got there, there was one American woman with hair uncovered, wearing a nice abaya (long black robe), a group of small children with their father in Arab thob (man’s formal robe), ghutra and agaal (head scarf and head rope) and a woman in fully covered mode sitting in front of him. A couple Arabs were filling out forms at a side-counter. After a while the American woman removed her abaya to reveal business-casual-wear.

We waited while various names were called, but usually no one answered.

Finally Eric and I just went up to Window 2 and talked to the guy. He indicated that the 2 pm appointment hadn’t shown up yet and seemed willing to talk for a moment. I had a few questions prepared.

I could have just asked some of the local expats, but I wanted to hear what the actual American Embassy person had to say. After all, it’s officially and specifically their job to be experts on Arab culture and Saudi laws and culture. What one may hear in bull sessions around the apartment could be tainted with all sorts of misinformation and lore.

We asked if it were possible to see an actual embassy consul of some type and maybe be allowed to see more of the building but were very courteously informed us that since it was the last day before the holiday period, they were short-staffed and would not be able to accommodate that request.

Frankly, I had no expectation of that happening, but figured we paid our $6.65 cab fare to get here and the worst they can say is ‘no.’

Eric, who has some experience with American embassies abroad, assures me that we’re getting relatively royal treatment.

We then traipsed around the other side of the building to visit the gift store sporting a somewhat anonymous entry with no markings except one sign that says “Entrance.”

It was filled with really great t-shirts, golf shirts, caps and other clothing paraphernalia — all unfortunately brightly emblazoned with “U.S. Embassy” and logo. One can only wonder where you might wear that.

There were American style candy bars, lotions, soft drinks and other mini-mart supplies. But the motherlode is a huge collection of videos and tapes for rent.

Back in the parking lot we wondered if there would be any cabs to take us back. We were tramping out to the entry station when a car pulled up alongside and asked if we needed a ride. We said we were going to central Riyadh…and was he a taxi? He said he was not, exactly, but would take us for a fee. I had been warned about such freelance cabs but since we were two people, and at 6’5” Eric is an imposing presence, we negotiated a 25R ride. The man, an Egyptian who works as a driver for a different embassy, apparently makes a side-living as a freelance driver. He gave us a very efficient and smooth ride back.

Actually, my primary goal, other than to simply to see what the Embassy looks like was to obtain a business card from someone official. I had heard that if one ever gets in some kind of minor trouble and you’re looking for whatever small edge you can manage, it could help to reach in your pocket and have an official-looking business card to flash.

Mission accomplished.

Later, when we got back I was asked what the Diplomatic Quarter was like.

I said, “It’s like Palm Springs with sandbags.”

...

Riyadh: First impressions...now with photos

2009-09-13T17:41:00.000+03:00

First of all, as one can well imagine, the image of the kingdom as one imagines it through blogs, forums, e-mails and anecdotes, while accurate, doesn't really give the ambiance of Riyadh, aka, "City of Tile and Concrete," aka "City of Roads with Metal Plates," aka "City of Stray Cats," but perhaps most of all..."City of Graciousness."

Cats
Many.

Dogs
None

Flies
One pesky one in my room right now who is about to meet his maker.

Construction
As one might expect in a city of 5 million or so, building and road construction is omnipresent. For buildings, there seems to be almost no wood-framing -- everything is concrete and tile, from the poorest to the richest sections (not that they let the likes of me into the latter). The public art projects are stunning.

Sky
I anticipated bright sunny skies, a la Arizona, and superhot temperatures. The temps are equivalent to my hometown of Phoenix, but the sky by day is more of a blueish-slate gray. I'm told this is the effect of dirt and desert in the atmosphere...along with car exhausts.

Streets and traffic
The major streets are beautifully blacktopped and very smooth. Lanes are indicated by bumps, which drivers tend to straddle more or less at random. Traffic is not quite as perilous as I was led to believe, though pedestrians are certainly at risk, particularly at intersections where traffic seems to proceed more or less at the whim and amusement of the drivers. Walking is an adventure in guessing where the sidewalk will be. Walking at night after the last prayer call during Ramadan is like signing your own death warrant.

The side streets, however, particularly in my neighborhood -- roughly the section from Al Yamama hotel to King Abdul Aziz Hospital -- are something else again. Most of them are torn up in odd places as the city strives to install water mains and other kinds of construction. Concrete boulders and traffic barriers are everywhere, dirt is everywhere and walking down a street is a matter of dodging on-and-off makeshift sidewalks while avoiding drivers in and out of lanes. A driver thinks nothing of simply whipping over across 2 lanes to make a right turn. There are metal plates covering construction holes everywhere and drivers often have to make 90-degree turns onto mini-bridges of metal plates to reach what can only generously be described as side-roads.

In the 5 full days I've been here, I've only seen one accident scene.

Airport
Big, spacious, gorgeous with breathtaking architecture, inside and out...but oddly un-airconditioned, or minimally.

Graciousness
1) I was out on a walking expedition to buy a cell phone and was working my way back. I knew I was within a few blocks of my humble abode but had gotten my internal GPS screwed up. On foot it's extra frustrating because if you head the wrong way, you pay by having to continually backtrack. I saw a man outside a house loading up his SUV for a trip, so I reckoned he was a local and begged his pardon, but could he help direct me to 26 Bijad? He couldn't figure it out from my scant hints...but then he just said "Please, get in the car and we'll look." I asked whether he could afford the time and he just said, "Please, we'll find your place." I felt like a dunderhead for being lost just 3-4 blocks from home at 10pm but he drove me up and down. I said, "The street is torn up in front, which didn't help much since all the streets are torn up. I said, "There are a lot of stray cats." I'm not sure if that did the trick but we found the building within a minute.

2) I was looking for directions to the Radisson Hotel for an errand, leaving my institute, and stopping at the guard house to sign out, about 9pm, decided to see if the two guards could help. They spoke only the most minimal English but were up for the task. First I was invited to sit on the floor with them and have some tea and a few pastries. I was brought water. They looked up the Rad on the Internet and provided hand-signal directions. We finished our tea and I was on my way.

3) On another night-time walking expedition, I was making my way down a major roadway on an on-again/off-again sidewalk. I was a bit tired and a lot thirsty and was taking my last swig of water when I spotted a sort of impromptu shack on a raised wooden platform...like a guard shack, except it was out in the middle of nowhere, guarding nothing. There was a mile-long concrete wall behind it and the roadway in front. Curious, I looked inside and made out that there was a man and a big commercial-size water jug. I'm guessing it was a way station for construction workers by day, but it could just as well have been an imaginary city oasis set down by the jinn for passersby in need. I sort of peered in at the window and the guy inside, wearing what looked like camouflage pants and shirt, looked out and then simply offered me a glass of water.

Prayer times and Ramadan
Most of the day for a non-Muslim seems to be spent consulting the daily prayer schedule to see when stores will be open and when one can dine out. My experienced colleagues get the daily report on their cell phones. (As I understand, prayer times are tied to sunset/sundown so they change slightly every day.) But during Ramadan, the city essentially turns upside down as stores are often closed during the day and everyone comes out at night. Traffic at 10pm is like rush hour in an American city...except that it's more like walking through the Dodge Em Car attraction at an amusement park.

Food
As most of my acquaintances know, the less I say about food, the better considering that my specialty entree is "Fried Bologna Surprise." I did have a very nice, filling dinner at a Turkish restaurant, Al Fares, for the equivalent of about $8 US. They loaded us up on liquids as soon as we sat down beginning with a thick apricot juice (quick energy for those breaking fast), lemonade, water, lentil soup and Turkish coffee. Last night I stopped by a fresh produce market about midnight and picked up a kilo of pears, bananas and peaches for 5R ($1.30 US)

Water
Bottled water is pretty cheap, 1 riyal for a regular-size bottle -- about 26 US cents. Most people get water in bulk. The local tap water appears to be reasonably good tasting but I'm told it's very high in mineral deposits. During Ramadan, one doesn't want to be seen drinking water but I "carry" and sneak a sip when I'm not in public view.

American Embassy
I had been advised that it's good to stop by there and make an official hello. However, I find that their "public hours" are 1:30-3:30pm and they observe both American and Saudi holidays. Nice.

I'll have more on this later.
...

Riyadh at last

2009-09-12T00:05:00.000+03:00

Thursday, Sept. 10, 2009

Arrived Riyadh literally within seconds of the posted 1:40pm arrival time. The 11.5 hour (elapsed time) flight on Saudia from Washington D.C. was smooth and eventless...as a flight should be. Meals were excellent, movies about what one might expect and flight attendants delightful. Interestingly, every movie was image-manipulated to blur out key parts of the female anatomy, whether on actual actresses or simply in the background, as on newsstands, for example. Thus, a woman wearing an otherwise modest dress or shorts appeared to have no legs.

Getting through customs wasn't quite so smooth. Actual time of processing, including agent checking passport, scanning handprints and taking photo: about 2 minutes. Actual time with agent: about 12 minutes. Actual time waiting in line: about 50 minutes.

See, the agents don't just do one patron at a time. They get interrupted, or interrupt themselves, or deal with stray passengers who "just need a minute" about every 20 seconds. No kidding. The agent doesn't deal with the person in front of him and then go to the next person. My handprint scan, for example, had to be re-done four times, with each hand. I can't be sure, but it seemed that the scan worked each time (I could see the little light go on and a soft chime), but the agent's attention had been called away in the 10 seconds it took for the scan to be processed and he had to continually do it over.

Once through customs, I gathered my three boxes, somewhat battered but since they were mostly clothes, no worries. I managed to obtain the most right-steering cart in the universe but was too stubborn to try re-loading all my gear onto another one.

I was met outside the luggage area by a driver sent by the school I'll be teaching at who spoke no English. At first I thought he wanted "cash" but it turned out he was suggesting I change my U.S. dollars to ryals at the small bank branch at the airport. I may have committed a faux pas by taking a quick swig of water while I was adjusting my cargo -- since it's Ramadan, most people have been fasting all day and it's considered rude to eat or drink in front of them.

Queuing.

I haven't quite figured out whether this is a queuing society or not. As I was standing at the bank branch to exchange money, my driver indicated I should stand in line for one window. But it turned out there was a queue already formed that was not obvious. In the meantime, two other men had got in line. I went to the back of the line and no one offered to give me cuts. Fair enough. But then two stylish women (all covered up, but it was clear they were fashionable) sort of sashayed up to the window area I had vacated and, in effect, cut in front of someone else who had been queued up. I'm not sure if they realized that the queue was in effect...or didn't care.

I'm told there is a custom of saying "I only have one item" when you're in a store and would like to bypass the person in front. I then heard a story about a guy in a grocery who was holding two items and received such a request from a man. I didn't ask if he let the guy through.

Roads.

I was told that Saudi traffic is just awful, but I found that the roads (at least the ones not under construction...OK, that would be about 10 percent) are in immaculate condition. The drivers on the main highway into the city more or less stuck to their lanes, demarcated by small raised white bumps. My driver seemed to like straddling the line marker, as evidenced by the sound of tire meeting bumps but he eventually picked a lane and stuck to it. Traffic itself, while not orderly as in the States, was not as chaotic as I was led to believe. I'd say city traffic is similar to Paris, with lots of lane changing and horn honking but no one crashing.

Sky.

Coming from Phoenix where temperatures are about the same and there is only about 7 inches of rain per year and virtually no clouds on any given day, I was anticipating a bright sunny day. Instead, the sky has a sort of Soylent Green cast to it, almost science-fictiony in its somber hues. Someone told me it's from the desert dust.

Riyadh means Garden...

...but I'm thinking it should be renamed "Cit of Stray Cats." Oddly enough, no dogs. In the 2 1/2 days I've been here, I haven't seen a single dog. However, I have seen dozens of stray cats. Some lounge in groups of four or five on car roofs and hoods (cooler) or inhabit dumpsters. I can't say they've been a problem, but it does give a sort of The Birds ambience to the part of town I'm living in.

I actually got lost walking back to my pad from the Radisson Hotel (where one buys one's cell phone) and was within a few blocks. I knew it was near the King Abdul Aziz university hospital and behind the Al Yamama hotel but I couldn't quite zero in. I asked a man who was loading his SUV for a trip if he could give me some directions. When he saw how clueless I was, this gracious gentleman asked me to get into his vehicle -- and remember, all he knows is that I'm lost and carrying a backpack -- and actually drove me around for 15 minutes. I told him the main landmarks were that the sidewalk was being excavated for a water line (we currently get our water from trucks)...and that there were an awful lot of stray cats. "Ah," he said...and we found my place within 2 minutes.

Earlier, I needed directions to the Radisson as I was leaving my school campus and stopped to ask the security guards...who spoke little English. We mutually stuttered along in sign language and were making progress when one of the men gestured for me to sit on the floor with them and have some tea. It was delicious, as well as the water they offered.

Graciousness is a hallmark of this great city, as near as I can tell so far.

Dulles to Riyadh

2009-09-10T00:09:00.000+03:00

Dulles International Airport
5pm

After an exciting night of packing, I've had a great trip from Phx to DC and am sitting at the gate for my flight to Riyadh on a Boeing 777.

My big thrill this morning checking in at the United desk was finding that my meticulous box-weight planning paid off. I had lugged all three boxes over to the UPS store yesterday to use their scale and had packed the boxes to a fare-thee-well of the 50lb limit. At one point I ran out of sealing tape and had to dig into the tool box for duct tape...which is significantly heavier than the plastic stuff.

Results:
Box 1: 49.5 lb
Box 2: 49.8 lb
Box 3: 48.1 lb

I got a nice attaboy from the ticket agent for hitting my weight limits so exactly.

Can't say I'm too fond of the Dulles WiFi system: it's easy enough to access but then you've got to pay one of their preferred providers $6 if you want to connect. Phx Sky Harbor is free to one and all.

The plane is scheduled to leave at 6pm and arrive tomorrow at 1:40pm.

Next stop: Riyadh

(Since I'm actually writing this retroactively, I'll just tell you that we arrived in Riyadh at precisely 1:40pm)

Final Week - A Trip Back Home

2009-09-08T16:02:00.000+03:00

Hey, I'm back...miss me?

I leave for Riyadh tomorrow morning (Sept. 9) at oh-dark-hundred.
Just back from a week-long last visit to my family in Erie, PA and to attend my cutie-pie niece's wedding. She's the one in the wedding dress.

I took some time to visit my old grade school (top left), hung out with my mom (who loves crossword puzzles), had a cookout with my buddies by the lake and a slew of other things.

I don't particularly recommend planning back-to-back trips like this but my niece wasn't inclined to change her wedding date on my behalf.

In the meantime, my house is a mess as I'm in a simultaneous frenzy of cramming household goods and clothes into the attic to clear some space for the man who'll be renting the place for a year and packing my own stuff for the plane trip tomorrow.

I've got three boxes about 90% full and I'm busy weighing various items down to the half-pound to optimize weight. Each box can have 50 lbs and each ounce is now precious. I'll be trundling the boxes over to the UPS store later to get them accurately weighed before handing them to the mercy of United Airlines.

I got a nice piece of advice from my sister, a world traveler with a lot of experience packing a month's clothing into a week's suitcase. She says, "Wear your heaviest items--your bulkiest sweater, the heaviest shoes you can be comfortable in. Watch how the students do it!" The airlines weigh your check-in baggage and measure your carry-ons...but they don't care how much you weigh. A lot of travelers make the mistake of wearing flip flops because they're easy to slip off at airport security. But really, you're only doing that once or twice so why not save a couple pounds instead of paying exorbitant excess baggage fees?

I went back in yesterday and did just that, as well as eliminating about 10 golf shirts (I loves my golf shirts), removing DVDs from their cases and making hard decisions about a few other items.

I may have another blog entry before heading out but, inshallah, I shall be checking into the teachers' residence in Riyadh next time you hear from me.

Backpack or roller bag? Vote!

2009-08-30T01:30:00.001+03:00

Had breakfast this morning with a friend who had spent two years teaching in Venezuela many years ago. I got a wonderful suggestion for my trip to Arabia. I have been trying to figure out how to maximize what I can take onboard the airplane as a carry-on and she said, "What about a backpack?"

Eureka. Why didn't I think of that? It will fit perfectly in the overhead compartment and still allow me to have my hefty laptop -- practically a suitcase in itself.

In the meantime, I ran across a perfectly sized mini-roller bag over at the Goodwill store when I was dropping off donations. I might have been able to live with the hot pink color, but it was emblazoned with a bright "Little Kitty" logo too. Fortunately, as I was driving home I found a parking lot rummage sale where I was able to score a conservative black mini-rollerbag.

Now I have to decide which one will hold more and /or be more useful. Remember, for carry on, weight doesn't matter here. I could fill it with bowling balls if I could yank it onboard. What matters is that the bag be 45 linear inches or less.*

Here are the candidates:

a) The black rollerbag measures about 38.75 linear inches, has a convenient pull-up handle, wheels and a front pouch. The front fabric allows for some bulging for last-minute items. Some of the interior space is used up by the hardware "ribs."

b) The green backpack measures between 35 and 36 linear inches, depending on how you count the front pouch. It has typical backpack straps, two main compartments and the front pouch has two handy compartments. The design allows considerable bulging for squeezing in last-minute items. It would be good for city trekking and going back and forth to school.

I'm taking opinions. Vote for the bag of your choice.

*You figure linear inches by simply adding up the 3 dimensions: thus 20H +20W + 20L = 60"
........................

Car plan revised

2009-08-30T01:22:00.000+03:00

Minor setback with my car storage plan.

I had misunderstood my mechanic, thinking that the friend storing my car in the third-car spot in her garage would only have to start it up once a month, for about 10 minutes...and maybe run it up and down the driveway to keep the tires from always being in one spot.

Turns out it has to be started up once a week...for 20-30 minutes! This has the added complication that the car will need a gas fill up at least three times in the year. And I've not only cancelled the insurance but arranged to have the car de-registered with the state. I really can't ask my friend to add these extra duties, having promised her how easy it would be.

Fortunately, another friend, whom I just happened to be talking about on other matters, stepped up and agreed to everything. We owe each other favors so I'll be helping her with some marketing and writing stuff.

In the meantime, I'm tackling the business of packing now. I tested one of the 20x20x20 boxes with a load of t-shirts and...woohoo...it comes in at 40 lbs. If I had used a suitcase instead of a packing box that extra 10 lbs would have been taken up by the weight of the suitcase itself.

I also met with my renter for the coming year and we signed the agreement.

As I clear out my attic to make room for all the stuff I'm going to have to store, I'm running across all kinds of old photos, fliers, concert tickets (Bruce Springsteen, Santana, Tori Amos, Crosby Stills Nash and Young, James Brown, Better Than Ezra, ZZ Top), baseball games, basketball games hockey games, plays, scraps of phrases and a stub for a musical ("Rent") that I'm pretty sure I never even went to.

The stubs are all there, getting nice and aged.

Time to get some new ones, eh.

......

Da Shippin' News - 2

2009-08-26T05:01:00.001+03:00

All righty then...think I'm getting a handle on this packing and shipping thing.

By way of preface though, I'm still just scratching my head at the dearth of information and good advice about how to do all this. I'd have thought that with numerous people arriving in Riyadh every day to live, the expats would have a system down...um...pat for how to get their stuff over there.

Here's the deal in case you're wondering how you're going to do it yourself.

There seem to be two options:

1) Use a freight forwarder or other shipper to send your stuff

2) Take your two free bags, two carry-ons and then simply add a third box as "excess baggage."

I chose #2. Yes, you pay dearly for the excess, but it's wayyyyy cheaper than the freight forwarder...unless you're taking a whole household of stuff, or have more than, say, 7 boxes.

I checked with a local freight forwarder (who lackadaisically took 10 days to respond, by the bye) and his quote was $1,500.

Since I'm traveling via two different airlines, I had to deal with both. What you'll find is you need to pack and budget for the more restrictive airline.

United (UA) allows two free pieces of checked luggage:

a) 50 lbs or less

b) 62" in total dimensions.

If your free pieces (or any piece) exceeds the 50 lb limit you pay $150 for overage from 50-70 lbs. (I didn't check beyond that.)

Each additional box or luggage item is $250, same restrictions.

Saudia (SV) allows two free pieces of checked luggage:
a) 70 lbs or less
b) 62" in total dimensions or less (you add the three dimensions and it can't exceed 62")

Each additional box or piece is $138, with same restrictions above.

With this information, I knew that I had to go with the UA 50 lb limit, even though SV allows 70 lbs.

Doing the math, it appears that I need to keep my two free pieces strictly within the 50 lb/62" limit to avoid severe penalty.

I doubt I can get everything into two boxes, so I'm fixin' to add a third excess box, within the correct specifications and pay the $250. UA assures me that this takes me straight through to Riyadh.

Apparently, part of the cost for the freight forwarders is that your package has to be received or handled by one of their agents there to pass customs...or maybe just to be downloaded. Also, the package does not arrive when you do...it could be before or later.

The trick, it would appear, is to get boxes as close as possible to the 62" space limit. I'm going to purchase three 20x20x20 boxes from the UPS store, though I could get them from U-Haul cheaper. But I think the UPS boxes might be a bit sturdier.

Tip: Although 20x20x20 only adds up to 60", the box specification refers to the inside volume. Thus, such a box really comes in more like 61" and some change. I'm not sure how fussy the airlines are going to be, but why chance it?

I considered using a very large suitcase, maybe buying one from Goodwill, but suitcases add about 5 lbs to the total weight, what with wheels, handles, zippers, dividers and so on. And I reckon that if you multiply that by 3 boxes, it could add up to 15 extra pounds of junk I can haul over.

My friend has a bag weighing device so I'm hoping to get that measurement pretty fine-tuned.

As a final option, if I get to either my two-box or three-box capacity and find that I have just a bit of overflow -- not enough to fill a full box, I can send a U.S. mail package which will arrive who-knows-when (probably 3 weeks) for what I'm surmising would be about $50.

Needless to say, I'll be packin' and storin' like crazy this weekend.

Other notes

1) These size/weight restrictions apply to these respective airlines' domestic and international flights. United may have different (more generous) limits for international flights.

2) If you're flying business class or better, you may be able to up your size/weight limits. Of course, your packing chores still have to conform to the most restrictive limit.

3) In case you're wondering, today's title comes from the 1993 novel by Annie Proulx, The Shipping News, set in Newfoundland. One of the characters, a Newfie, likes to pronounce the term as "da shippin' news." See? You get all sorts of fun information on this blog!

Rent (the non-musical)

2009-08-24T22:25:00.001+03:00

Woohoo...I've got my place rented, thanks to my buddy Craig.

I had originally posted on Craigslist about 3 weeks ago. I reposted the ad Sunday about 2pm after my niece (below, middle), who's couch-surfing with her fiance from San Jose, Calif. to Erie, Pa., left for her next destination. Within 10 minutes I actually had two calls and an e-mail.

Craigslist only lets you post at designated intervals, days apart, to avoid abusers who will simply repost every 10 minutes in order to get to the top of the list.

This time, I chose to include my phone number since I no longer have to be coy about what my plans are.

This is a great weight off my shoulders, though I still have to figure out my luggage/transport system for getting belongings to Riyadh. And in the meantime, I have to get to Erie myself for my other niece's wedding (left) over Labor Day, and then back to Phoenix to close out the house.

This will be the first time I've seen all three together for a few years. Aren't they cuties?

Saturday, one of my friends treated me to a little video and book shopping spree at Bookmans (a big used book store chain). Tonight, one of my pro bono clients is taking me out to dinner. This is essentially my final week at home before I head out to the Kingdom.

Photo of me with Craig Newmark (right) taken at Arizona State University, College of Design "Design Excellence Dinner," Apr. 17, 2009. Needless to say, he had nothing to do with renting my house. I don't think................................
.........................................................................

Two weeks to go

2009-08-22T18:48:00.000+03:00

I'm trying out a new look for the blog. How ya like it? The header background pic is a shot of the front roofline of my house with an actual rainbow. I may not keep it but I wanted to experiment with the blog layout to see what I could do. I got some very helpful advice from Susie of Arabia -- an award-winning blog about life in Saudi Arabia for an American woman.

Latest preparations

Car storage: I've solidified my plan. A friend with a 3-car garage will let me park it there for a year, unused, except for occasional trips up and down the driveway to keep the engine fluids happy. This has the great advantage of allowing me to cancel my car insurance -- except for the minimal $61 "comprehensive coverage" in case a rabid bat flies in and tears up the place or there's a flood or something. In addition, I can de-register my vehicle for the year with the state Dept of Motor Vehicles.

Telecoms -- cell phone, land line, Internet, satellite TV: I've got these all bundled together with Qwest as a package and the good news is that I can essentially eliminate all...saving about $150-200 per month. I'm able to keep the Internet service on its own for $50. Of course, I'll have to pay for some kind of cell phone/TV service in Riyadh so this is not a total savings.

Property Manager -- I've arranged for my next-door neighbor, who happens to be a realtor, to serve this function. The nice part is that he already knows the ins and outs of my house and can keep an eye out on the property without having to drive over all the time.

Still to be done:
1) the main thing is still finding a renter to cover my mortgage
2) also need to settle on a method for transporting belongings
3) need to re-instate my home warranty coverage with Old Republic. This just covers any major repairs or replacements for stuff like the washer/dryer, dishwasher, refrigerator, A/C, etc.

In the meantime, I read the expat forums and e-mails regularly and try to keep up with a few blogs.

What the visa looks like

2009-08-19T22:04:00.001+03:00

August 19, 2009

Here's what arrived in my self-addressed U.S. Postal Service envelope while I was serving my county on jury duty yesterday:

I've blurred out some of the identifying remarks, but that's essentially what the visa looks like, with the passport turned on its side. The actual visa part is on the left side and the stamp just says it's been paid.

Bon Voyage and coconut shells

2009-08-18T18:36:00.000+03:00

August 18, 2009

Anticipating passport/visa material in the mail today.

I'm getting a bon voyage party in a couple weeks. I've sent out a wish list of books and videos to my friends, partly to forestall receiving a well-meaning slew of gag gifts that would simply be confiscated at customs in Riyadh.

In return, I've decided to make an open offer for friends to come and loot my house (still to be rented) of any item that is not nailed down or otherwise needed by whoever rents the joint. The deal is they can have use of the item for a year at which point I either return to reclaim it or, if I'm holed up in a hostage camp, they get to keep it.

Some of the items include:

golf clubs
bikes
stuffed gorilla
35mm camera
tripod
coconut shell bra

The coconut shell item was spoken for quickly, as one can well imagine.

Da shippin' news

2009-08-18T02:34:00.000+03:00

August 17, 2009

I'm going through my punch list (as the realtors say) and knocking down items.

Renting the house is still top on the list, but there's only so much I can do on that front.

Figuring out how to ship my clothes and misc. belongings for a year's stay overseas is still a bit of a puzzlement. Hundreds of people do this every day so there must be some standard way or ways to accomplish the task.

I now have several very good options for keeping my car out of trouble for a year. In adddition to saving about $1,300 in gas, I can save $800 in insurance. I may also be able to get something back for deregistering the car with the state.

And now I've got to call into the Superior Court to see about jury duty. I'm thinking I'll get a pass on that.

Update
Aug. 18, 2009:

Checklist

2009-08-14T21:13:00.000+03:00

August 14, 2009

The clock is really ticking now. My checklist of things to do includes:

Getting a new USB drive and wireless mouse for my laptop (done)
Cancelling the newspaper (done)
Changing the electric company service (APS) to autopay and equalized monthly billing (done)
Having a long involved and probably painful discussion with my all-in-one telecoms provider (Qwest) to see what phone, Internet and satellite TV services I can get rid of
Car insurance options (done)
Car storage options -- currently I'm debating either (a) just parking it in a guest space at the townhouse complex here and removing insurance for a year, (b) taking advantage of a friend's offer to park it in other unused side of her 2-car garage, but leaving the insurance coverage so she can borrow it when needed. (in progress)
Obtain shipping information for my belongings to KSA
Re-instating my home warranty policy from Old Republic
Developing a wish list of books and DVDs that friends may (or may not) want to send me off with (done)
Deciding whether to go and have immunizations. This is not strictly necessary but I'm sure it's a good idea. It's another sizeable expense though.

and the biggie:

arranging for my house rental

Da plane, da plane!

2009-08-13T20:32:00.000+03:00

August 13, 2009

Received a call from the Saudi embassy in Washington this morning: they are having my plane ticket -- undoubtedly an e-ticket -- issued and will be sending my passport back to me shortly.

Apparently the plane-change from United to Saudia at Dulles will be only an hour so they're advising that I'll have to hustle to make the flight.

In other news, my tennis friends are planning a going-away party for the end of August...or maybe it's a good-riddance party.

This group has been getting together for tennis every Monday night for at least 8 years and there have been only a couple nights per year that we failed to play. We've played in the 110-degree heat of summer and the 55-degree coolness of winter, wearing parkas and gloves. We've had ski trips, hiking adventures, wilderness campouts, holiday parties, Super Bowl parties, dances, bike hikes, BBQs, art walks, movie outings, outdoor concerts, TV-night dinners, water volleyball and group trips to Mexico.

Participants come and go; the group remains.

(pic above from 2003, I'm 3rd from left in white ball cap)

*The title of this piece, for non-American readers, is a famous catchphrase from the 1978-1984 TV show, "Fantasy Island." The character "Tatoo" opened the show each episode by ringing a bell and calling out "Da plane! Da plane!"

Visa has been issued

2009-08-12T02:27:00.000+03:00

August 11, 2009

Message from the Saudi protocol officer in Washington:

Your visa has been issued, and I am currently working on your tickets so I can send them all together.

I've been busy the past few days advising friends and family about my Saudi adventure. Many of these are people who should have been been brought into the picture a month ago, but the uncertainties associated with the visa process made it difficult. For one thing, informing the department at Arizona State University that I won't be able to do either class I typically teach means that I'm completely off the list if the Saudi adventure doesn't pan out.

I have to say that, to a person, everyone I've told about this has been very encouraging and for the most part actually thrilled. This could just mean they're glad to get rid of my pesky self.

Woo hoo!

2009-08-08T00:54:00.000+03:00

August 6, 2009

I just got an e-mail from the SACM saying that my degree has been authenticated, the package is complete and is being forwarded to the Embassy to get the visa issued. At that point, the airplane ticket can be issued.

I'm counting this a (provisional) success.

Visa requirements -- all done? Maybe

2009-08-06T23:39:00.000+03:00

August 3, 2009

Woohoo...I received the last vital piece of information I needed -- the "visa block number" --from the Ministry of Labor to the IPA that allows me to complete the visa application package.

What's aggravating about this piece of information is that it is not referenced, as such, in any of the documents outlining visa requirements. Apparently it's item #4 on the list: "A reference note showing the number and date of the residence visa issued by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs."

Now, how you get from that description to "visa block number" is a mystery so naturally I wouldn't have known to even ask for such a thing. In fact, it would have seemed to be a typical chicken-and-egg situation: How could one know the residence visa number until one had received the visa? And you can't get the visa until you have the number.

One thing that is no problem acquiring is various enumerations of requirements. Nearly every time I call and manage to get through to someone at the consulate or cultural mission in DC, they want to send me a list of requirements. And each time I patiently explain that it's not the list of requirements I need...it's an explanation of the requirements.

So, having received the crucial visa block number, and having my visa application package all put together ahead of time, I hustled over to the local US Post Office and got everything certified-mailed to the Saudi Arabian Cultural Mission (SACM) in Washington. This included an express-mail return envelope for my passport. I'm a bit nervous about not having my passport available, not because I might have to travel somewhere, but because I have no idea how long it will be in the hands of the SACM or whether they might lose it. As it happens, my university transcripts were sent twice, and, as you'll see, had to be sent a third time.

The good news about the U.S. Postal Service is that -- believe it or not -- the whole process only took me 11 minutes, and that includes having the agent look up the SACM zip code. Total cost: $22.45.

I called the SACM person the next day who advised she had received the package...however it appears the medical report was missing the doctor's official stamp with their medical license and the consulate had not verified my university degrees yet.

It so happens that the doctor's office doesn't just have a stamp with their license on it, but the SACM protocol officer advised that any "stamp" with their name and address would do. Of course the doctor's office was closed for lunch at that time, but I have to give them kudos for stepping up when I got ahold of them at 1pm . By now most of the office staff were probably aware of my Saudi plans and they knew how expensive this was gettting for me. The office manager got their address stamp, stamped some stationery, scanned it and e-mailed it off to the SACM within an hour, with a "cc" to me. No charge.

Next stop, the consulate office that verifies and validates the university degree(s). Sure enough, they did not have the 2nd set of documents that Gannon University (my master's degree institution) had sent on July 10. The problem seems to have been that the consulate likes to get all their information at one time from one source. That is, they want me to get the transcripts and then re-mail to their office. At the time, I thought it would be simplest to just have the two universities (B.A, U. of Dayton, M.A., Gannon U.) send official documents directly. The consulate had agreed to that.

Big mistake.

Apparently they don't have a system for keeping track of documents. The Univ. of Dayton documents never did get found. The first Gannon Univ. documents were sent back to Gannon with a sticky note saying "This student is not a Saudi-sponsored student" even though there was a cover letter. The university was sharp enough to call me and let me know that, and that's when I had them send another official document, this time to the specific attention of the person who needed to verify the degree.

In the meantime, I had to persuade him that the university doesn't have a copy of the "diploma" per se, in their archives. They have official transcripts, etc. but I couldn't even tell you where my actual "diploma" is. I still have my high school diploma, but that's just because I happened to find it in an old trunk a few years ago. Anyway, the consulate agreed to waive the diploma and was willing to accept the official sealed transcript. At the same time, I needed to have the National Student Clearinghouse Association verify my degree ($6.50) and send that info to the consulate, along with a cover letter authorizing them to verify the information...and a copy of my passport. Of course my passport was already in the hands of their counterparts at the SACM, so they were willing to waive that requirement.

We agreed that I would ask Gannon Univ. to overnight another official transcript, to the specific attention of the person verifying. At first he wanted to have Gannon send me the transcript, which I would then turn around and mail to him, with the other information that I had on hand. But I pointed out that that could add another 5 days to the process, what with the weekend coming up. And (I reckoned) what's to stop them from losing something from me any more than something from the university. I also figured that with overnight delivery, everything would be fresh in his mind and he could be looking for it.

I made another long distance call to Gannon asking them to overnight the transcripts to the consulate. They were very cooperative and I almost had Theresa convinced to accept some tasty Lake Erie perch as payment (from my brother, who lives there) but we eventually settled on a $25 shipping and handling fee...considering they had sent out two for free.

August 4, 2009

I got an e-mail from the SACM advising me to fill out an airline ticket application form. Fortunately, I had made the plane reservation a couple months ago so I had that information handy. However, as typical with Saudi forms, there was an item that wasn't completely clear: they wanted a "confirmation number," whereas since I hadn't confirmed the flight yet, all I had was a "reservation number." I called the airline the next day (since they were closed at 2pm, Phoenix time), confirmed that the numbers are the same thing, and e-mailed the form.

The only thing now is that the SACM, which is the agency that actually obtains the ticket, pays for it and sends it to me, must complete the transaction by Monday, Aug. 10 at 5pm. And, of course, they can't do that until they have verified university credientials so that they can complete the visa approval.

August 6, 2009

I received a timely email today saying that the consulate received the transcripts. As arranged, I e-mailed the other documentation he needed (the Degree-Verify doc and a copy of my job offer). Shortly thereafter, he confirmed that he received those and had completed his verification process.

At this point, the SACM should have everything they need to issue the visa and get the airplane ticket.

This morning, I felt confident enough that the visa would come through in time that I informed the woman who rents a room that she may need to move in a month. Alternatively, if I find a 2nd renter willing to take the major part of the house, where I currently reside, she can stay. She can even help approve the newcomer.

With the housing market being in some disarray in Phoenix -- as everywhere -- it's hard to know how this will all work out. My townhouse is a wonderful place to live, with a two-car garage, pool and jacuzzi, patio, access to public transportation and two freeways...yet set back in a quiet cul de sac. Still, people are not flocking to the Valley of the Sun in droves and there are lots of housing options. So this all remains a concern.

More visa delays

2009-07-29T01:20:00.000+03:00

Ruh roh.

It's been about one week since I learned that I needed something called a "visa block number" from my Saudi employer before I can even send the application package in to the Saudi Arabian Cultural Mission in Washington, DC.

Now I'm getting worried because I haven't had so much as an acknowledgement of my need for the information, which suggests to me that my contact is on holiday somewhere and not available by either e-mail or Skype. Unfortunately, I have no back up contact in S.A.

I've been holding off making local and family announcements of my plan until I have the visa firmly in hand.

Ooops...no block number!

2009-07-22T04:18:00.000+03:00

I was just ready to mail in my visa application package to the Saudi embassy in D.C. this morning when I remembered that I had talked to a woman there who had advised me to call them to make sure everything was in order first.

Good thing I called. Turns out that I need something called a "visa block number," which is supposed to be supplied by the employer.

One problem I'm having is that I've used up my cell phone minutes for the month thanks to the 50 or so calls I've had to make to various numbers at the embassy. Therefore, I'm in the somewhat embarrassing position of calling and then begging them to call me back on my land line at home. They've actually been pretty good about that.

I fired off a Skype and an e-mail to my contact in Riyadh to see if they can get the required info. I find that Saudi e-mails don't come through reliably to my regular personal e-mail so I need to send all communications to my contact's personal e-mail, doubled up with a Skype message. That works pretty well. If need be, I can also use my Arizona State University e-mail, but I don't check that very often during the summer.

Calling the Saudi Embassy...and calling

2009-07-17T19:21:00.000+03:00

The past week has been spent with some 50 or so calls to various numbers at the Saudi embassy in D.C. and the Saudi Arabia Cultural Mission in D.C. to get clarification on various aspects of the visa application process.

After numerous fruitless calls, most of which ended with a voice recording saying that the person's mailbox is full, I finally managed to get through to a couple people and even got call backs. Of course the people I got through to didn't have the information and, further complicating things, gave me incorrect numbers to call or else forwarded my call to recorded messages (with the anticipated full mailbox). But they were all polite and seemed well-meaning.

The current issue is that that in the past month, S.A. has initiated an online application form -- that is, a form that must be filled out and submitted electronically. However, there are three problems.

1. The process for uploading a "person picture" is so convoluted that it actually requires a separate piece of software to get it to work. On the plus side, that software is free...once you know where to find it (which requires a call to their IT person...see below).

2. There is a $10.50 fee for submitting the form...but, according to my source, the credit card process doesn't work much of the time, specifically on Thursdays/Fridays when the Saudis are not working. The very nice stateside IT fellow was as amazed at this as I was and was quite apologetic. Apparently the process -- which is mandatory now -- is still in beta testing and they haven't quite worked out all the quirks. There is, interestingly, a private firm that will do the form for you for $70USD.

3. The electronic form has a number of mystery items such as "ID" and "Reference" which simply show up without any explanation or context. And there are other items, such as "Date of entry" (presumably arrival date in SA since it's on the same line as Transportation) that have no place to enter information.

I did manage to finally get my picture inserted in the form and, as anticipated, the Master Card payment failed to process. I'll try again Saturday or Sunday.

In other news, I've had a couple bites on renting my house, but nothing solid yet. I haven't been spreading the word far and wide because, frankly, I'm not completely convinced the visa will ever come through.

I have also been checking out what to do with my car for the next year. I can probably just park it in the visitor lot of my townhouse complex, but not sure how the neighbors will feel about that. I have someone, the guy who will be managing my property while I'm gone, who can start up the car every month to keep it in condition. Or I can rent a storage facility for about $100/month. Or I can possibly find a friend with an extra garage space -- but most people in Phoenix fill up their garages pretty full with all their stuff since homes here don't have basements. (In fact, many neighborhoods have streets and driveways filled with parked cars, even when they have two- or three-car garages, simply because people prefer to use their garage space for storage, workshops or to protect their valuable ATVs.)

All docs now ready

2009-07-14T02:21:00.000+03:00

July 8, 2009

I just got my medical report back -- three originals, two copies of each -- so I believe I now have all the documentation I need, ready to compile for the Saudi Arabia Cultural Ministry in Washington, D.C. I had gotten my police report in the mail from the city a few days ago.

However, it now turns out that one of the university transcripts I had them (the University) send to the SACM was returned, with a note indicating that I was not a student at the moment. So I had to call the SACM and explain that I was a teacher, not a student, and the transcripts were sent to document my degree. I then called the University, explained the matter, and they'll be mailing them out again.

I've got the actual visa application filled out, with only a few minor questions. I know I'd better get this stuff off to SACM pretty soon, but I can't seem to get their stated contact person to contact me.

I'm now starting to get concerned about renting my house so I'm going to start placing ads today.

My Arabian adventure: first report

2009-06-26T19:32:00.000+03:00

001
June 26, 2009

Getting the job teaching English in Riyadh was easy enough -- I'm qualified, have no specific ties here other than a mortgage, love to travel, have no particular religious prejudices and I already live in 110-degree heat.

Getting the visa completed is a nightmare though.

Here's where I stand at the moment:

1. Passport - renewed and ready to go (it was set to expire in June so I needed it anyway). Cost: about $25 (need to check this)

2. Travel arrangements - my flight is booked (though I won't get the actual ticket until the visa is approved. Cost: free

3. Police report - in progress. Just took a trip to the Phoenix municipal office, fingerprinting, a small fee and they'll mail it to me in about a week (the city even pays for postage, though their published requirements say to bring a stamped, self-addressed envelope). Cost: $28

4. Medical report - incredibly expensive! I'm currently figuring it will come to more than $800 with all the lab tests, including a couple that neither my doctor's office or the lab recognize. The actual physical part is pretty easy though.

5. Immunizations - I'm holding off a bit. Technically no immunizations are required by S.A., but the US recommends Hep and Tet. This is going to be another $300 if I just get the minimum shots.

6. University degree authentication - another paperwork nightmare. It's not enough to just send authorized transcripts from Gannon University (M.A.) and University of Dayton (B.A.). No, they need:

my name and SS #
name of employer
name of "courier agent" (whatever that means)
letter stating reason for requiring authorization
copy of employment contract
copy of passport
certified copy of university degree (whatever that means)
updated official transcript in a sealed envelope (how is that different from the "degree"?)
name of university and telephone # of the registrar (wouldn't that be on the official transcript?)
verification letter from the registrar's office including SS#, school ID and telephone # of contact person in registrar's office
written consent to allow the Saudi Cultural Mission to verify the degrees

Other matters:

7. House - I'll need to start posting ads and spreading the word very soon to rent my house for a year. I've only told my plans to a very few people since a whole lot of things could happen to foil the adventure and I don't want to set up a lot of expectations and/or gnashing of teeth (or worse, choruses of hallelujahs).

8. Packing - nada

9. Laptop - acquired a new, working unit just for this. I figured it's a good investment anyway. Cost: $400

10. Skype - could be my smartest investment (free)...though I did shell out $20 for a microphone/headphone and $25 for a webcam (though it turns out my laptop comes equipped with webcam. Skype has already proved invaluable for getting in touch with my sister in Kentucky, my neice in Afghanistan, a friend living in Cairo, and my sponsor in Riyadh. Since the IPA e-mail system doesn't seem to work very well with AOL, we've used a bunch of workarounds like Skype and my Arizona State University e-mail to stay in touch. Cost: Skype is free, other items, about $50

Whew.